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Reviewer: Flaming_Heart Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 27 2014 9:44 PM Title: Chapter 9: Escape

Wow fifty years to age twelve months

Reviewer: angeloflife Signed [Report This]
Date: April 26 2014 12:22 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Question,  why did they say if he doesn't get the injection he be dead within minutes? What would have killed him?



Author's Response:

His immune system can't cope with the bacteria on Home so they had to inject him with a chemical that helped boost his immune system. I'll explain it in the story soon don't worry.



Author's Response:

His immune system can't cope with the bacteria on Home so they had to inject him with a chemical that helped boost his immune system. I'll explain it in the story soon don't worry.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 25 2014 2:54 PM Title: Chapter 7: Captured

How would Tucker know how to resist the mind probe if he's never encountered a Dolorian one before? Surely it would probe his memory as well as his concious thoughts. After all, you referred to it as mine probe, not a thought probe.



Author's Response:

He just began to think about other things, also the Dolorians have never probed a human before so the results would be unknown

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 6: All The Way To Doloria

Those in Jessica's society seem to have the same culture (almost) to those in English speaking Western countries. What do I mean by this? For a start they seem to have the same sorts of words regarded as "swear" words. You also mention that Jessica has a high Intelligence Quotient even though that test is a human invention. Since the society Jessica lives in is far more advanced one should think (assume) they have come up with a much better way of testing intelligence.

Here: 

"I wasn’t expected that. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

You mean: expecting

 

Finally, I find it odd that you would suddenly switch the perspective of the story and immediately give away what's going to happen in the next chapter.



Author's Response: Remember that everything is translated immediately so any swear word can still be understood. It may not directly be that word but it would still be a word that's an offensive term. Don't worry not everything is revealed for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 2:20 PM Title: Chapter 5: ECHO!

The plot seems to be going somewhere. The pace is about right. However, (and maybe I haven't been payign attention) I think there should be more information regarding the different sizes. This probably isn't relevant to the plot but it would be interesting.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 1:52 PM Title: Chapter 4: First Mission

You seem to really dislike commas for some reason. Your story is good otherwiese though. I won't point out too many errors this time though. Just this one which, if it had a comma would change the meaning of the setence:

 “Maybe I don’t know yet.”

Without a comma after maybe, it makes it seem like the person is saying that maybe they don't know yet, or in other words, they are not sure if they don't know. That's what it seems to me. I would suggest this:

 “Maybe - I don’t know yet.”



Author's Response:

Thanks again for pointing it out and I've made the change for you. Please can you tell me what you think of the plot so far, I know that you're enjoying the story but I just want to know if the gneeral plot is any good

Reviewer: Cloud Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2014 8:12 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I was a big fan if your work on writing.com, and I'm glad to see you on here. If you're active now, I wonder if the sequel is also done or farther along then it was 2 years ago.

Author's Response:

I wasn't planning on re-writing the sequel. Instead I was doing a fantasy spin-off and prequel/short story series

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2014 3:18 PM Title: Chapter 3: Test And Training

I feel scared for Tucket even though I know I shouldn't. I'm sure everything under control but I have that feeling in the back of my mind.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2014 3:42 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Those who seem perfect always have some big flaws although her boobs aren't flaws,  I think we'll find out as we go along.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 11:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I do enjoy reading this story. I believe I mentioned that in the initial paragraph of review.

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 7:32 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Jessica is kind of a Mary Sue. I read the original long ago so I don't remember much, but is Jess bad at anything in particular? So far it seems like she could pick up a violin her size and be a pro at it in a day or two.

Not that this kind of character is bad or anything, just thought I'd point it out. So far the only thing she's bad at is looking at her own feet on account of how large her boobs are XD.



Author's Response:

There are some things that she is bad at but I haven't mentioned them yet.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 2: Girl's Night Out

There's probably things I've missed in my commentary, but oh well. The spacing between the paragraphs seems off. You ought to look at that since there doesn't appear to be any spacing between the paragraphs. I really like this story so the amount of discrepancies I found are a shame. You seem miss out commas in places. 

Here:

“Nonsense you’ll be the talk of the town.” 

I feel it should be either:

“Nonsense! You’ll be the talk of the town.”

OR:

“Nonsense; you’ll be the talk of the town.” 

Here:

and she stagger through the door.

I think you mean:

Staggered

Here:

In my case I’m not just tall I’m a full blown giant, even if I didn’t wear my heels the average person would still be around my ankles. 

I feel the setence might work better as:

In my case I’m not just tall, I’m a full blown giant. Even if I didn’t wear my heels, the average person would still be around my ankles.

Here:

“Fuck me you have flying cars?” asked 

He's not asking to be literally "fucked" I'm sure so, a comma after ME is required. Here's an example:

I love cooking my family and pets.

Should be:

I love cooking, my family and pets.

Since the person does not want to cook their family or their pets (I would assume they don't).

Here:

 “Sure we’ve had them for centuries,” 

I think you mean:

 “Sure, we’ve had them for centuries,” 

I'm not sure why but it seems to feel better with the extra comma.

Here:

look down at her incredibly tiny friend. 

You mean: looking

There way you worded this:

The woman behind the bar was the tallest woman that Tucker had ever seen in his life, well before he met Jessica that was. 

To me, it made it seem like Tucker had met the woman behind the bar before meeting Jessica.

Here:

“Sure as you already know Jenny is very small and Jessica is very big.”

I feel it would make sense to have a "." after sure.

Here:

I know what I’m doing besides a few more mes isn’t so bad.

I feel it would be better as:

I know what I’m doing, besides, a few more of me isn’t so bad. 

Here:

Jessica could see and hear her clearly

You appear to be missing a "." after clearly.

You then go on to talk about how Jessica has been avoiding accidents with cars. This seems a bit irrelevant given the circumstances.

I'm a bit confused by this sentence:

She quietly waved goodbye to her friends before Jessica moved on.

Who quietly waved goodbye? The only character mentioned by name before that sentence in that paragraph is Jessica.



Author's Response:

Thanks for pointing those out. I will try and improve in the future. I try to proof read chapers before I post them but I always miss a few. It's normal when you're reading your own work, that's why it's best to have someone else read it first because they will most likely spot mistakes. BTW are you enjoying what you're reading so far?

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: April 20 2014 7:44 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I always have problems imagining her but I guess somewhere from DD to E should be fine.



Author's Response:

Yeah somewhere around that size.

Reviewer: midnightwriter85 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 20 2014 5:16 AM Title: Chapter 2: Girl's Night Out

Amazing,  I must say.  This...will be my first time reading. So, to everyone that's already read it; Ha-haaa! ;) 

I'm really liking this so far....great stuff Doc!

-also, I'm glad you'll be posting everyday.



Author's Response:

Only until I've uploaded all the chapters I've written. After that the story will be updated at least once or twice a week.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 20 2014 4:43 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

This is giving me a chance to reread this story from the start, should be fun. Just asking, what is Jessica's cup size? If she were normal sized but had the same proportions what would their size be?



Author's Response:

I'm not too sure. I don't know that much about cup sizes but let's just say even if she were normal they would be big.

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 3:30 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I saw this story on Giantess City and was enjoying it so I'm really happy to see it here! I wanted to comment on it but I don't think the forum system is appropriate for reading stroes. It's nice to see that you're rewriting bit because when I read it the first time I did noticde a few mistakes (but not many). Reason I didn't comment is because the forum is annoying for commenting on stories in my opinion.

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 12:48 PM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Sweet! I was a big fan of the original so I'm happy to read a rewrite! Hopefully some things happen a little differently for those of us who read the original but either way I'm still in!

Reviewer: Truegamr5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 8:51 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

I loved this Story on writing.com, good to see someone's rewriting it here. :D

Reviewer: Flaming_Heart Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 7:55 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Nice first chapter, look forward to the next one

Reviewer: Nostory Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 19 2014 7:18 AM Title: Chapter 1: Beginnings

Well you did it! Let me be the first to review it and say that this is just an amazing story! So far it seems to be geared towards something very different from the old one but I am getting ahead of myself since those chapters haven't been uploaded here yet.



Author's Response:

Thank you I already have 17 chapers completed with an additional 1-2 completed each week. I will upload them once a day until all completed chapers are online.



Author's Response:

Thank you I already have 17 chapers completed with an additional 1-2 completed each week. I will upload them once a day until all completed chapers are online.

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