Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 1:52 PM Title: Chapter 4: First Mission

You seem to really dislike commas for some reason. Your story is good otherwiese though. I won't point out too many errors this time though. Just this one which, if it had a comma would change the meaning of the setence:

 “Maybe I don’t know yet.”

Without a comma after maybe, it makes it seem like the person is saying that maybe they don't know yet, or in other words, they are not sure if they don't know. That's what it seems to me. I would suggest this:

 “Maybe - I don’t know yet.”

Author's Response:

Thanks again for pointing it out and I've made the change for you. Please can you tell me what you think of the plot so far, I know that you're enjoying the story but I just want to know if the gneeral plot is any good