Date: March 24 2016 11:08 PM Title: Chapter 18 Finale
I have enjoyed 'Afterlife' almost as much as I liked 'Vacation Abroad'. I will definitely be looking forward to any new stories you write. I won't say that they will appeal to me as much as these two have, but I will give them a try.
Good Luck, and keep up the good work. (And try to work on your spelling and grammar.)
Date: March 24 2016 10:45 PM Title: Chapter 16 Entrap
I have not found anything about 'The Escape Redux' stories to hold my interest: I recall having started to read it, but didn't get beyond the 4th chapter. Perhaps, I was too much into 'Kate's Story' and 'The Inescapable Guardian', both by happiest_in_shadows to want to read another giantess story of a similar nature.
Meanwhile, I'm still enjoying this story, and am looking forward to the remaining chapters.
Date: March 24 2016 10:09 PM Title: Chapter 14 Life Plots, Death Executes
Somehow I get the impression that 'Life' is far the most hardcore of the two of them (Life and Death). While Death is much more caring about those she 'harvests'. Yet, I'm not surprized, somehow.
Lovely story! I am staying glued to the screen to continue reading.
Date: March 24 2016 9:52 PM Title: Chapter 13 Hell to a Human
Hell isn't something I worry about, since it doesn't exist in my beliefs (nor does heaven, at least as Judeo-Christians, or Islamics believe it to be). (I'll discuss my beliefs with you at another time, if you are interested.)
I like your definition of Evil, as Hate, but I must slightly disagree with Death's comment that all humans are afraid of death... they are all afraid of dying, but not necessarily of death. That goes back to the ancient Celts, who had no fear of death. But nobody can stand the pain of dying, especially if it is slow. Then they welcome death.
Date: March 24 2016 9:18 PM Title: Chapter 11 Diana's Prank
may / might
If both Diana and Death are polygamous, why should it make any difference who he spends his time with? They'll have him in the same attitude range in fairly short order! They are not now in an Earth society, so it can have no bearing.
Date: March 24 2016 9:08 PM Title: Chapter 10 Explanation
Again, what you're referring to as 'smut' is a mental aberation of Victorianism. Keep on writing as you will, and you'll find that the way you do write is perfectly satisfactory to most people here.
I'm not one to worry too much about how the plot is developing, as long as it remains consistant and workable. My real concern is (because of my former profession) that the grammar and spelling are proper, so that you will have a story that even your old English teacher would be proud of.
'off of' / off (not really designed to be together, as 'off' by itself works best)
less (quantity as in bulk) / few(er) (quantity as in number)
Date: March 24 2016 8:47 PM Title: Chapter 9 Cliffs
First of all, I don't consider it to be smut... it's just a healthy, enjoyable part of life if you aren't all tied up with Judeo-Christian-Islamic patriarchal brainwashing.
Sorry about the 'rant'. I'm more than somewhat independent of the values of the followers of 'The Book'. My morality is very similar to that professed by the Wicca and Druidic beliefs.
You have used these concepts in 'Vacation Abroad' and in this story, and when used as you have used them, I believe them to be healthy and realistic.
Date: March 24 2016 8:25 PM Title: Chapter 8
Sorry to hear about your medical problem... Still, it hasn't affected the quality of your story, so keep up the great work.
Your spelling / grammar still need to be worked on, though I realize that you wrote all this in 2014, long before I found this GTS World site. I hope though that when you do receive these reviews that you will use them to help you in your new stories.
Date: March 24 2016 8:09 PM Title: Chapter 7 Return, and leave.
Any chance that you might extend 'Vacation Abroad' beyond the 22nd chapter? I would love for you to tell their story when the arrive in New York.
I have read parts of your other stories, but until this one, none of them really interested me much.
Meanwhile, this story is holding together extremely well, and is continuously getting more interesting!
Try to be more careful of your spelling, though.
Date: March 24 2016 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 3 Back and Forth
Sorry to sound like an old lady, but if I'm going to try to help you become more professional, I have to bring up the following:
off / of through / threw (twice) there / their their / there
possessive: s / 's who / whom
Don't let my little comments disturb you. I enjoy reading your stories (especially 'Vacation Abroad', which is one of my very favorite stories on GTS World!) I've already read it 2 - 3 times in the last year... Perhaps this one will be another?
Date: March 24 2016 6:53 PM Title: Chapter 2
I suppose that I would respond the same way that Aidan did, near enough!
Note on spelling: please pay attention to the differences between 'to', 'too', and even 'two'. It's very unprofessional to misuse these words, among others, especially for such a talented writer!
Keep up the good work!
Date: March 24 2016 6:40 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Working Man
Unusual start... But interesting.
Re: your chapter end notes... 'Anyways' is NOT a valid word in any context. It only comes as a singular form. Take it from a technical writer.
Story is just fine, otherwise. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: August 17 2014 1:11 AM Title: Chapter 18 Finale
So sad it over, it was an amazing story.
Just can't wait to see the future stories. Hopefully with a better storyline than this if that's possible.
Maybe Afterlife 2 or sequel is in the running?
I went into this with a very simpliitic plotline. Not the same with my other works. So far, I have been planning sequels for stories, as well as smaller side stories to introduce new characters. But I was not planning a sequel to this. Maybe, in my free time, but I will be pretty busy for the next few weeks with others in progress.