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Reviewer: wq123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 02 2018 8:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: wq123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: March 14 2017 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: wty123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 30 2016 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: free Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 8:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

c'est vrai que c'est bien écrit et en francais en plus tu dois continuer parceque ces histoires en francais sont rares

Reviewer: Kabouki Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 12:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

C'est moi, à nouveau

J'ai beaucoup aimé le passage dans la chaussette de Rebbecca. Le fait qu'elle soit sa rivale et qu'elle soit aussi hautaine donne une vraie dimension à ton histoire. Si tu pouvais évoquer plus souvent des passages aux pieds de Rebbecca, ça pourrait être intéressant ^^

Reviewer: Kabouki Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:51 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Salut!  Je suis nouveau ici (je précise que je me suis inscrit justement pour poster ce premier review).

Permets moi de te dire que tes textes, et particulièrement "(French) Destiné" , sont des textes dont j'attends de lire la suite :) 

Je trouve que tu as beaucoup de talent. J'ai beaucoup aimé l'ancien chapitre 6 mais ils sont tous réussi à mes yeux.  Tu es l'un des rares auteurs qui écrit en français sur ce site et c'est l'une des  choses que j'aime beaucoup. 

Si tu choisis d'arrêter je te souhaite bonne chance pour la suite :) (et si tu continues, ce que j'espère sincèrement tu auras à coup sûr des personnes qui liront tes oeuvres avec attention) 



Author's Response:

Et bien , t'as créé un compte juste pour sauver l'histoire ? T'as du bien l'aimer effectivement ^^". A vrai dire il est assez dur d'évaluer si j'ai fait quelquechose de bien ou pas si je n'ai pas les reviews, je ne promet pas de la continuer mais en tout cas ça me rassure un peu de voir qu'elle plait quand même à quelques personnes :)! Ah et merci aussi de tes compliments. Comme toujours, si tu souhaiterais voir quelque chose en particulier se passer ou que tu aurais une quelconque autre information à me donner envoie moi un autre review , ou un mail . Ca me fera toujours plaisir ;) 

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:46 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Que penses tu de l'aspect fier du personnage ? est il trop prononcé ? Mais aussi , j'aimerai bien savoir ce que tu préfères voir dans l'histoire ?

Non, il n'est pas trop prononcé, il est tout ce qu'il faut ! S'il n'était pas un minimum fier, un minimum rebelle à ce qui lui arrive, ce serait moins intéressant je trouve :)

Ce que je préfère voir, c'est tout ce que tu as fais jusqu'à maintenant, haha. Le fait que sa soeur le torture autant avec ses pieds, en le faisant dormir dans ses chaussettes sales, etc. Sincèrement, tout était super. Je suis un peu moins intéressé par le vore, mais il en faut pour tous les goûts, et je trouve ça très sympathique de ta part d'essayer de te diversifier autant ! Tu mériterais bien plus d'audience, mais encore une fois, les français ne sont pas majoritaires sur ce site.

Et c'est dommage, c'est vraiment rafraîchissant de pouvoir lire dans sa langue maternelle :)



Author's Response:

Ok c'est noté, je pense que si je publie le prochain chapitre j'y placerais une interraction avec les pieds de la belle Rebecca dans ce cas ;). A la prochaine Max !

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:26 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Et c'est re moi !

De mon côté, j'aime toujours autant. Surtout le fait que sa soeur manipule les gens pour faire en sorte qu'ils le maltraitent aussi. 

Tu as beaucoup de talent et d'imagination, mais c'est vrai que le public français n'est pas très présent, c'est la limite du langage :/

Si jamais tu t'arrêtes, bonne chance tout de même pour la suite ! J'attendrais de pouvoir te lire à nouveau avec impatience !



Author's Response:

Merci beaucoup de ton soutient Max, oui effectivement elle arrive bien à manipuler les gens autour d'elle, entre sa mère d'abord mais aussi Rebecca, à qui elle a renvoyée une mauvaise image de son frère sachant trés bien qu'elle le detestait déja. 
Que penses tu de l'aspect fier du personnage ? est il trop prononcé ? Mais aussi , j'aimerai bien savoir ce que tu préfères voir dans l'histoire ?

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 03 2014 2:31 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Salut !
Sincèrement, c'est très bon. Des fautes de grammaire de ci de là, mais c'est pas l'essentiel. Le texte est bon, et c'est génial. Continue ! 



Author's Response:

Merci , je sais que je fais des fautes . Aussi il faut dire parfois c'est un peu par fatigue, n'hésite pas à me signaler ou il y en a que je puisse y remedier, merci . 
Je vais essayer de relire un peu pour y remedier quand même . 
Bonne lecture et merci de ton soutien !

Reviewer: AbyssofneantFR Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 4:16 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Ah, et au passage, je vote 1, la petite ^^

Reviewer: AbyssofneantFR Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 4:14 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Cette histoire est a la fois excellente et accrocheuse en tout point. Rien que le style de rétrécissement d'Alex, qui laisse au passage présager une fin possible, est accrocheuse. De plus, un texte français étant rare, il n'en ai que plus beaux. Les protagonistes sont accrocheurs (surtout Bianca, pour ma part), alors je t'en prie, sort vite la suite!

 

 



Author's Response:

Merci beaucoup pour ton review, j'ai malheuresement perdu le fil du fait que cela fait longtemps que je n'ai pas continué cette histoire, je tenterais de la continuer mais je promet rien! En tout cas j'apprécie le fait que tu ais aimé !)

Reviewer: JustinPasDeux Signed [Report This]
Date: May 05 2014 9:58 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Ne sois pas décu =) ton histoire est vraiment acrochante ! il y a à la fois du mystère au sujet du rétrécissement et du suspens ! Tous les acteurs prenent part finalement à l'humilation d'Alex (volontairement ou pas) et ta facon d'ordonner ca et vraiment bien construite !

Après je te parlé que Alex a maintenant déjà massé les pieds de sa mère, donc sa mère pourait au final vraiment apprecier ca et en redemande d'avantage ! sans que sa mére pense que c'est son esclave.

Ensuite pour le rétrécissment oui pourquoi pas découvrir un peu plus tard que ca mère peut le faire aussi et en profiterai donc ! mais cette idée est à développer plus tard car avant ca tu as surement beaucoup à dire :)

en tout cas bonne continuation ! tu es très bien parti ! vraiment hate de lire la suite ! si tu veux de l'aide dis le moi :)



Author's Response:

Merci, 


j'ai pour intention de la continuer ce week-end si j'ai un peu de temps libre.  Pour ce qui est de l'aide j'en prendrais bien volontier,que ce soit pour recevoir quelques idées de scènes ou si tu veux écrire quelques chapitres avec moi pourquoi pas , je peux toujours te mettre en co-auteur. Ca sonnerait même plutot pas mal à vrai dire, si tu veux participer à cette histoire tu n'as qu'à m'envoyer un mail à italykeke@outlook.com , j'ai déja planifié les grandes lignes de l'histoire mais je suis toujours ouvert à toutes modifications. Si tu veux plus d'info sur les futures scènes que j'ai en tête ou que tu as écrit un truc que tu aimerais que je retape et dévellope n'hésite pas ;).
Sinon toute autre forme d'aide et bien entendue bienvenue :)!

Merci encore de tes encouragements, c'est motivant , à bientot j'espère!  

Reviewer: JustinPasDeux Signed [Report This]
Date: April 23 2014 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Géniale ! tu es vraiment bien parti ! De plus c'est la première fois que je vois quelqu'un écrire en francais, j'espère que tu vas continuer encore longtemps ;)

Je voulais te faire part de petites idées: - maintenant qu'il a massé les pieds de sa mère et meme ceux de sa soeur devant sa mère eh bien elle pourrait profiter d'avantage de cela mais pas au point qu'il devienne son esclave.

- sa soeur peut désormais humilier son frère devant sa mère sans que ca dépasse le massage (du moins pour l'instant)

 

- sa mère peut découvrir elle aussi qu'elle peut rétrécir son fils et sa fille ! cela pourrait etre une bonne idée à develloper mais ne pas à traiter maintenant sinon l'histoire se termineré trop vite.

J'espère que cela te donnera des idées :) continue tu es super bien parti !



Author's Response:

Merci des idées et du commentaire, je les gardes en tête, n'hésite pas à me partager ce que tu aimerais voir et ce que tu penses des chapitres, cela fait toujours plaisir. 

 

Je vais la continuer dans peu lde temps mais je suis un peu déçu pour tout t'avouer de voir qu'il n'y a pas tant de gens qui commentent que ça. 

Mes réponses à tes idées:

-Que veux tu dire par profiter d'avantage de cela ? L'idée de poène de pouvoir l'humilier devant sa mère me parait trés bien et je pense qu'il est trés probable que cela évolue de la sorte, si tu as une idée de scène que tu aimerais voir, je t'en pris , n'hésite pas à me le dire. 

-Le phénomène de rétrécissement est resté volontairement assez étrange, de ce fait on ne sait pas vraiment ce qui le provoque, ni qui peut le provoquer. Le fait que la mère l'ai de même est du coup faisable, je vais réfléchir à cela.

Merci encore de tes idées intéréssantes, à bientot j'espère et bonne lecture.

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 17 2014 1:05 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Sincèrement, rien à redire, de très bons chapitres, et j'aime vraiment les thèmes que tu traites. Continue comme ça, c'est génial !



Author's Response:

Merci Max ! Je suis content de voir que mon histoire plaise autant, je lacontinuerai tant que je vois qu'elle relève de l'interet ne t'inquiète pas. Si tu aimerais voir des choses en particulier ou des personnages n'hésite pas à me donner des conseils, j'apprécie toutes idées données !

Reviewer: Jmeuliere Signed [Report This]
Date: April 13 2014 5:56 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Aucun problème la dessus, et oui, on dirais bien que tu as reçu le message 5 sur 5 et totalement compris la ou je voulais en venir, hate que tu étales toute ton histoire, sache que je la lirais jusqu'a la fin, de meme que tes autres projets a partir de maintenant, sa va de sois.

Si il y a d'autres idées/suggestions qui me passent par la tete je t'en ferais évidemment part, de l'aide éxtèrieure est souvent requise et appreciée (; Bonne continuation, et surtout vas-y a ton rhytme. 



Author's Response:

MErci, j'apprécie ton attention :)

Reviewer: Tiny0604 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 13 2014 3:26 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

S'il te plaît ! Ton début est vraiment géniale ! Je veux voir le prochain chapitre ! Je ne peux pas attendre ! Je veux savoir ce qui arrive à Alex ! Vite la suite, vite !



Author's Response:

Merci , si tu veux voir quelque chose ou des personnages en particulier n'hésite pas à proposer tes idées :)

Reviewer: Jmeuliere Signed [Report This]
Date: April 13 2014 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Putain, mec, je te demandes juste de continuer. Tu es tres bien parti avec la course et la rival au debut, j'espere qu'il av la rencontrer maintenant qu'il a une nouvelle taille, cette dèrniere qui je l'éspere n'est qu'un début a son retrécissement. Mais sa, seul toi le sait.

Tu dis continuer ton histoire en fonction des revieuws, eh bien ne t'inquete pas, plusieurs personnes vont lire et suivre ton histoire, bon concept et les dialogues sont bons jusqu'a mainenant, les détails dans la mise en scene des differentes situations sont excellents, ils ralentissent le temps ce qui est nécessaire dans ce genre d'histoire.

Quand au demandes, j'espere qu'il y aura une tonne de "feet", et que la rivale, les tantes ect ou qui sait des filles encore bien plus irritantes, peut etre un alex est-il un ex souffre douleur et qu'il reverra la cruelle fille qui le pèrsecutait a l'époque... hahaha je te donnes quelques idées exploitables. Pour le reste j'aimerais qu'il finisse tres tres petit, genre taille fourmi ou un peu moins.

Voila pour ton revieuw (; le soutien est la, continue! 



Author's Response:

Merci de ton soutien! Donc je devrais faire revenir cette Rebecca hm ? à vrai dire je comptais la faire revenir aussi mais tu sembles avoir bien apprécié le personnage. Je vais voir en fonction des demandes quelle place je vais lui faire figurer dans l'histoire dans ce cas ;). Aussi tu préfererais que le personnages soit donc réduit à quelques minimètres , qu'il y ait une grande majoritée de mauvaises filles et qu'il y ait de majeures "feet interactions". Je prends en compte tes demandes, j'ai déja un scénario global en tête, si je reçoit un bon soutien je pense que je vais l'étendre plus que quelques chapitres.  
Merci encore, n'hésite pas à fournir d'autres reviews si tu as plus de demandes ou d'idées .  

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