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Reviewer: wq123 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 02 2018 8:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: wq123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: March 14 2017 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: wty123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 30 2016 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

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Reviewer: dood07 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 06 2015 1:12 AM Title: Chapter 6 Babysitter pt2 (modif)

Salut italykeke. Ça faisait quelques temps que je voulais lire tes histoires afin de voir un peu ce que tu faisais. En fait j'avais déjà essayé plusieurs fois de lire, mais je m'arrêtais à chaque fois car... J'arrivais pas à continuer.
Je viens aujourd'hui en tant qu'écrivain gts français, quoi de plus normal qu'on se soutienne en étant si peu ^^
Du point de vue artistique, ce que tu fais est un chef d'oeuvre. D'une car tu arrives à adapter ton histoire aux demandes des lecteurs, et de deux car... Et bah l'évolution du perso est excellente. Je ne vais pas m'étaler sur le sujet, tu vois ce que je veux dire : Le fait qu'il ait une rivale à taille normale, qu'il rétrécisse par l'humiliation de sa soeur, que sa mère le considère de plus en plus comme un véritable bébé, la puissance et la crédibilité qu'il perd face à tout le monde... Ça, je te dis chapeau. C'est vraiment très très bon. :)
D'un point de vue perso maintenant, j'accroche à l'intrigue, et cette histoire de pieds qui réduisent la résistance pour faire rétrécir... J'adore l'idée, sincèrement *-* Cependant, je m'excuse par avance, mais j'ai un petit coeur tout mou. Chaque paragraphe que je lis m'oppresse, et sur la fin dès que je m'arrêtais de lire je me sentais mal, j'arrivais pas arrêter d'y penser... C'est pourquoi je n'ai pas lu la fin du chapitre, je trouve cette histoire bien trop triste... Alex joue de malchance, et ses punitions incessantes me brisent le coeur.... J'avais espoir que sa baby sitter puisse sauver le truc, du style sa "grande" cousine, qu'elle soit douce avec lui.. Mais je ne pense pas que ça ait sa place dans ce genre d'histoire. :)
Quoiqu'il en soit, ce n'est qu'une question de goût, car ce que tu as fait est vraiment génial. Je te remercie de faire progresser la communauté macrophile française, et j'espère te relire un de ces quatre ;)

Reviewer: free Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 8:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

c'est vrai que c'est bien écrit et en francais en plus tu dois continuer parceque ces histoires en francais sont rares

Reviewer: Kabouki Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 12:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

C'est moi, à nouveau

J'ai beaucoup aimé le passage dans la chaussette de Rebbecca. Le fait qu'elle soit sa rivale et qu'elle soit aussi hautaine donne une vraie dimension à ton histoire. Si tu pouvais évoquer plus souvent des passages aux pieds de Rebbecca, ça pourrait être intéressant ^^

Reviewer: Kabouki Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:51 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Salut!  Je suis nouveau ici (je précise que je me suis inscrit justement pour poster ce premier review).

Permets moi de te dire que tes textes, et particulièrement "(French) Destiné" , sont des textes dont j'attends de lire la suite :) 

Je trouve que tu as beaucoup de talent. J'ai beaucoup aimé l'ancien chapitre 6 mais ils sont tous réussi à mes yeux.  Tu es l'un des rares auteurs qui écrit en français sur ce site et c'est l'une des  choses que j'aime beaucoup. 

Si tu choisis d'arrêter je te souhaite bonne chance pour la suite :) (et si tu continues, ce que j'espère sincèrement tu auras à coup sûr des personnes qui liront tes oeuvres avec attention) 



Author's Response:

Et bien , t'as créé un compte juste pour sauver l'histoire ? T'as du bien l'aimer effectivement ^^". A vrai dire il est assez dur d'évaluer si j'ai fait quelquechose de bien ou pas si je n'ai pas les reviews, je ne promet pas de la continuer mais en tout cas ça me rassure un peu de voir qu'elle plait quand même à quelques personnes :)! Ah et merci aussi de tes compliments. Comme toujours, si tu souhaiterais voir quelque chose en particulier se passer ou que tu aurais une quelconque autre information à me donner envoie moi un autre review , ou un mail . Ca me fera toujours plaisir ;) 

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:46 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Que penses tu de l'aspect fier du personnage ? est il trop prononcé ? Mais aussi , j'aimerai bien savoir ce que tu préfères voir dans l'histoire ?

Non, il n'est pas trop prononcé, il est tout ce qu'il faut ! S'il n'était pas un minimum fier, un minimum rebelle à ce qui lui arrive, ce serait moins intéressant je trouve :)

Ce que je préfère voir, c'est tout ce que tu as fais jusqu'à maintenant, haha. Le fait que sa soeur le torture autant avec ses pieds, en le faisant dormir dans ses chaussettes sales, etc. Sincèrement, tout était super. Je suis un peu moins intéressé par le vore, mais il en faut pour tous les goûts, et je trouve ça très sympathique de ta part d'essayer de te diversifier autant ! Tu mériterais bien plus d'audience, mais encore une fois, les français ne sont pas majoritaires sur ce site.

Et c'est dommage, c'est vraiment rafraîchissant de pouvoir lire dans sa langue maternelle :)



Author's Response:

Ok c'est noté, je pense que si je publie le prochain chapitre j'y placerais une interraction avec les pieds de la belle Rebecca dans ce cas ;). A la prochaine Max !

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 07 2014 11:26 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Et c'est re moi !

De mon côté, j'aime toujours autant. Surtout le fait que sa soeur manipule les gens pour faire en sorte qu'ils le maltraitent aussi. 

Tu as beaucoup de talent et d'imagination, mais c'est vrai que le public français n'est pas très présent, c'est la limite du langage :/

Si jamais tu t'arrêtes, bonne chance tout de même pour la suite ! J'attendrais de pouvoir te lire à nouveau avec impatience !



Author's Response:

Merci beaucoup de ton soutient Max, oui effectivement elle arrive bien à manipuler les gens autour d'elle, entre sa mère d'abord mais aussi Rebecca, à qui elle a renvoyée une mauvaise image de son frère sachant trés bien qu'elle le detestait déja. 
Que penses tu de l'aspect fier du personnage ? est il trop prononcé ? Mais aussi , j'aimerai bien savoir ce que tu préfères voir dans l'histoire ?

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 03 2014 2:31 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Salut !
Sincèrement, c'est très bon. Des fautes de grammaire de ci de là, mais c'est pas l'essentiel. Le texte est bon, et c'est génial. Continue ! 



Author's Response:

Merci , je sais que je fais des fautes . Aussi il faut dire parfois c'est un peu par fatigue, n'hésite pas à me signaler ou il y en a que je puisse y remedier, merci . 
Je vais essayer de relire un peu pour y remedier quand même . 
Bonne lecture et merci de ton soutien !

Reviewer: AbyssofneantFR Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 4:16 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Ah, et au passage, je vote 1, la petite ^^

Reviewer: AbyssofneantFR Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 4:14 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Cette histoire est a la fois excellente et accrocheuse en tout point. Rien que le style de rétrécissement d'Alex, qui laisse au passage présager une fin possible, est accrocheuse. De plus, un texte français étant rare, il n'en ai que plus beaux. Les protagonistes sont accrocheurs (surtout Bianca, pour ma part), alors je t'en prie, sort vite la suite!

 

 



Author's Response:

Merci beaucoup pour ton review, j'ai malheuresement perdu le fil du fait que cela fait longtemps que je n'ai pas continué cette histoire, je tenterais de la continuer mais je promet rien! En tout cas j'apprécie le fait que tu ais aimé !)

Reviewer: JustinPasDeux Signed [Report This]
Date: May 05 2014 9:58 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Ne sois pas décu =) ton histoire est vraiment acrochante ! il y a à la fois du mystère au sujet du rétrécissement et du suspens ! Tous les acteurs prenent part finalement à l'humilation d'Alex (volontairement ou pas) et ta facon d'ordonner ca et vraiment bien construite !

Après je te parlé que Alex a maintenant déjà massé les pieds de sa mère, donc sa mère pourait au final vraiment apprecier ca et en redemande d'avantage ! sans que sa mére pense que c'est son esclave.

Ensuite pour le rétrécissment oui pourquoi pas découvrir un peu plus tard que ca mère peut le faire aussi et en profiterai donc ! mais cette idée est à développer plus tard car avant ca tu as surement beaucoup à dire :)

en tout cas bonne continuation ! tu es très bien parti ! vraiment hate de lire la suite ! si tu veux de l'aide dis le moi :)



Author's Response:

Merci, 


j'ai pour intention de la continuer ce week-end si j'ai un peu de temps libre.  Pour ce qui est de l'aide j'en prendrais bien volontier,que ce soit pour recevoir quelques idées de scènes ou si tu veux écrire quelques chapitres avec moi pourquoi pas , je peux toujours te mettre en co-auteur. Ca sonnerait même plutot pas mal à vrai dire, si tu veux participer à cette histoire tu n'as qu'à m'envoyer un mail à italykeke@outlook.com , j'ai déja planifié les grandes lignes de l'histoire mais je suis toujours ouvert à toutes modifications. Si tu veux plus d'info sur les futures scènes que j'ai en tête ou que tu as écrit un truc que tu aimerais que je retape et dévellope n'hésite pas ;).
Sinon toute autre forme d'aide et bien entendue bienvenue :)!

Merci encore de tes encouragements, c'est motivant , à bientot j'espère!  

Reviewer: JustinPasDeux Signed [Report This]
Date: April 23 2014 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Géniale ! tu es vraiment bien parti ! De plus c'est la première fois que je vois quelqu'un écrire en francais, j'espère que tu vas continuer encore longtemps ;)

Je voulais te faire part de petites idées: - maintenant qu'il a massé les pieds de sa mère et meme ceux de sa soeur devant sa mère eh bien elle pourrait profiter d'avantage de cela mais pas au point qu'il devienne son esclave.

- sa soeur peut désormais humilier son frère devant sa mère sans que ca dépasse le massage (du moins pour l'instant)

 

- sa mère peut découvrir elle aussi qu'elle peut rétrécir son fils et sa fille ! cela pourrait etre une bonne idée à develloper mais ne pas à traiter maintenant sinon l'histoire se termineré trop vite.

J'espère que cela te donnera des idées :) continue tu es super bien parti !



Author's Response:

Merci des idées et du commentaire, je les gardes en tête, n'hésite pas à me partager ce que tu aimerais voir et ce que tu penses des chapitres, cela fait toujours plaisir. 

 

Je vais la continuer dans peu lde temps mais je suis un peu déçu pour tout t'avouer de voir qu'il n'y a pas tant de gens qui commentent que ça. 

Mes réponses à tes idées:

-Que veux tu dire par profiter d'avantage de cela ? L'idée de poène de pouvoir l'humilier devant sa mère me parait trés bien et je pense qu'il est trés probable que cela évolue de la sorte, si tu as une idée de scène que tu aimerais voir, je t'en pris , n'hésite pas à me le dire. 

-Le phénomène de rétrécissement est resté volontairement assez étrange, de ce fait on ne sait pas vraiment ce qui le provoque, ni qui peut le provoquer. Le fait que la mère l'ai de même est du coup faisable, je vais réfléchir à cela.

Merci encore de tes idées intéréssantes, à bientot j'espère et bonne lecture.

Reviewer: Jmeuliere Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2014 7:54 AM Title: Chapter 4: Vie quotidienne

J'ai un peu moins apprecié ce chapitre mais ce n'est que faute de gout personnel car je n'aime pas trop quand il y a interaction avec la mere du protagoniste, enfin bref je ne dis pas qu'il était mauvais au contraire le prochain promets! Rebecca en tant que babysitteuse sans hesiter!



Author's Response:

Ok, je prend en note tes réclamations, je réduirai les scenes faisant intervenir la mère ;).
Je n'aime pas trop cela non plus, c'est pour cela que je ne l'ai pas trop décrit mais c'etait un passage obligé pour faire avancer l'histoire, je vais préparer un grand truc pour le retour de cette chère Rebecca vu qu'elle semble être bien appréciée. Comme d'habitudes si tu veux voir autre chose en particulier n'hésite pas à me le faire savoir ca fait toujours plaisir de recevoir des idées et des conseils. 

Reviewer: albion Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 1:15 PM Title: Chapter 4: Vie quotidienne

Pas laura,il faut beaucoup pour reveiller mes yeux blasé:)donc rebecca car je l'imagine juste comme la chanteuse Tulisa Constostavlos,mmmh!



Author's Response:

Ton choix est noté; c'est en effet une belle chanteuse, c'est pour cette raison que je ne veux pas mettre d'images:)

Reviewer: Jmeuliere Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21 2014 1:05 AM Title: Chapter 3: 1ere visite

Bon chapitre, introduction de nouveaux personnages reussie, j'attends le retour de Rebecca avec impatience!

Choix numero 2,grande 



Author's Response:

C'est noté, comme tu as été le seul à répondre je vais la faire comme cela ;). Merci encore pour les reviews ça motive !

Reviewer: Lil Signed [Report This]
Date: April 18 2014 7:18 AM Title: Chapter 3: 1ere visite

Dommage ! J'appracie le control que a ca soeur sur lui :) ! ... Ca serait embétant de faire intervenir encore d'autre personnage, et profiter un peu de la situation de la petite soeur, avec des jeux, des situations etc ... tout en gardant le controle avec ses pieds *_ *

:)



Author's Response:

Salut, je vois, je penserai à mettre en avant les interractions entre eux deux dans ce cas, j'ai ajouté des images et ai posé une question en fin de note du ch 3 à propos :)

Reviewer: Tiny0604 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 17 2014 3:21 PM Title: Chapter 3: 1ere visite

Vraiment pas mal, du tout ! J'ai bien aimé !



Author's Response:

Merci du review et de tes gentils mots l'ami :). J'apprécie énormément !  

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 17 2014 1:05 PM Title: Chapter 1: Compétition et fête

Sincèrement, rien à redire, de très bons chapitres, et j'aime vraiment les thèmes que tu traites. Continue comme ça, c'est génial !



Author's Response:

Merci Max ! Je suis content de voir que mon histoire plaise autant, je lacontinuerai tant que je vois qu'elle relève de l'interet ne t'inquiète pas. Si tu aimerais voir des choses en particulier ou des personnages n'hésite pas à me donner des conseils, j'apprécie toutes idées données !

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