[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 8:45 AM Title: A Terrifying Experience
You were right to delete that review. What kind of idiot doesn't know what converses are?
As for the story...
Your mastery of explaining how pathetic the tinies are never ceases to amaze. Lets not forget about the use of fear either. You can make a simple girl seem like a world destrying monster with just a few words (it takes me two paragraphs).
"A few tears stung at her eyes as she truly registered how pathetic she had become, reduced to running scared and naked beneath her own table to avoid being stepped on by a pair of dirty, sandalled feet."
The above sentence deserves extra praise for capturing everything I've mentioned.
Author's Response:
ha, i never know how to respond to awesome reveiws without sounding like some jibbering pleb lol :P
Really glad you're feeling the atmosphere of the story :) Hoping to continue on the same veign with the coming updates! Giving a sense of epic disproportion and helplessness >:)
Date: March 31 2014 3:29 PM Title: A Terrifying Experience
For those who may have wondered, I had to delete a review from someone who decided to give a 2-star rating just because apparently he couldn't work out what Converse were.
For those interested, the review literally read:
"whats a converse?
Part of a shoe?"
That was it... then gave a 2-star.
If the review explained anything, or seemed in any way fair, or even if it didn't just seem incredibly lazy, then i would have kept it here.
There were many ways to avoid giving such feedback. By using some part of your intellect to work out that the description of the shoes, mentioning the coverse had insoles and describing the fact that they were kicked off of a character's feet you might realise they are a shoe. You could also simply take 5 seconds to google the word "converse". So yes, i dont think it was appropriate to leave such 'feedback', and i've had it suggested a few times that for whatever reason the rating was personal, so I removed it.
Shame really :/ All feedback, positive or CONSTRUCTIVELY critical is welcome.
[Report This]Date: March 27 2014 7:31 PM Title: A Terrifying Experience
Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh! A story by Harlequin! Nothing makes me happier then seeing a story by you ;)
True to form, great as always. Love the set up, description, easy for the reader to feel like he is in Ash' place.
This is going to be one fun story, I can tell, thanks for sharing it!
[Report This]Date: March 27 2014 7:02 AM Title: A Terrifying Experience
Can put a divider (extra carriage return or *** or something) in there when switching perspectives, e.g., before:
"As Emma, Leanne and Chrissy"
As for the level of detail, I believe you nailed it. As a reader, I was able to experience Ash’s predicament in real time. The sounds, smells, etc. Very nice.
Author's Response:
Heyas, thanks for the rate/review ^_^
I'll edit to better separate the perspective switch. Its something i forgot to consider when proofreading because obviously i was expecting the switch :P Hope you continue to enjoy the coming chapters :)