[Report This]Date: April 29 2014 9:57 PM Title: Family Restructuring
His size isn't the only thing that is dwindling away. Pretty sure the ego is leaving soon also.
Nice chapter can wait to see what happens next. Especially since the recent events changed thing dramatically.
Author's Response:
Thanks, glad you like it!
Date: April 29 2014 10:48 AM Title: Family Restructuring
I don't normally review things chapter-by-chapter, but I think the fact that these entries are so long is giving me more time to get invested in the sickening ongoings. I thought the role reversal bit at the end was an interesting turn. I hope that doesn't dominate their relationship as things go forward, though it's a sensible addition to the myriad ways this man is losing his grip on his life. The lady at the mall seemed like kind of a jerk for not much reason, but I understand that was to give motivation for Kyra's reaction afterward. As usual, you manage to squeeze a lot of tension out of something as innocuous as being forced to try on clothes. Also, the ways Kyra can occasionally act sweet with the sole intention of further warping her father's mind are great (such as how the chapter ends when they go to bed). That's definitely my favorite way to see interactions take place between characters like this, because it's so subliminal, and you handle it so effectively.
Author's Response:
Actually, the "mother"/"son" role reversal pretty much does dominate the story from here on out. For me, it doesn't get much better than that, in terms of writing material. Sorry if you don't like it as much ...
Glad you like Kyra's 'sweeter's side though, and how it serves to only mess with his head even more. A different reviewer mention Stockholm Syndrome and I think that's a pretty apt way to describe it.
Date: April 29 2014 3:05 AM Title: Family Restructuring
I really don't know whether I'll keep reading this story. On one hand, it's definitely well-written and this chapter was pretty good (for me, the last one was hard to read). But on the other hand, I severely dislike re-indoctrination through trauma in my story's. Putting a character through the wringer is fine with me, but not when it causes his personality to warp. Reminds me too much of Stockholm Syndrome.
Honestly, I had the same problem reading Pariah. It wasn't until the protagonist of that story started to lose his intelligence that I started to stop liking the story. It became less of a domination fantasy and more of a horror story to me. Of course, I finished it anyway, but I stopped enjoying it.
I can't rate this review. It'd be too biased to rate properly, but if I do give it a five stars as the story technicqlly deserves, I'd feel personally wrong. Anyway, keep up the excellent work; this story isn't for me.
Author's Response:
Fair enough. You might find some of the remainder of this story agreeable enough then, but other parts you probably won't like.