Date: March 13 2014 9:25 AM Title: At the Mall
This was a very effective chapter. The awkwardness of the changing room is played up excellently, and the dialogue sells it. Personally, I'd say you're a leader around here of taking what might be seen as the mundanities of ordinary life and tweaking just enough of it in unseen ways to get it to drip with subtle sexiness. The patience you exhibit in letting your scenes play out in as close to real time as possible is to be admired as well. Once again, very nice work.
Author's Response:
Yeah, you're right, I suppose I do focus a lot on otherwise mundane situations. Especially stuff like family life, with its predefined relationships and accepted norms of behavior. It's because these norms are so universal and taken for granted (and therefore mundane), that it becomes (for me, anyway) terribly exciting to see them upturned.
As for your last comment: haha, yeah, the scenes may feel like they're in 'real time' after the fact, but when I'm actually sitting down and writing them it feels sometimes more like they're in super-ultra-ridiculously slow motion. I just have to accept sometimes that I'll be writing a single scene for days at a time, lol.