[Report This]Date: April 01 2014 9:53 AM Title: Chapter 16
Midnightwriter85, You're great, always fun to read! I will expect you to continue!
Author's Response:
Thanks! It is getting easier for me write. Always helps to get some feedback like yours!
[Report This]Date: March 31 2014 7:26 AM Title: Chapter 16
Poor Mark. Little does he know he’s next in line for a bath.
Author's Response:
Maybe!.... maybe not. His job might be, 'a little bit dryer' than that.. ;)
[Report This]Date: March 31 2014 7:01 AM Title: Chapter 16
Good detective work by Di! One possible nitpick, though. If Mallory the Waitress' pleated mini-skirt was sewn on to her uniform, how could it have pockets (let alone, be detachable)? Could you, perhaps, have meant one of those pint-sized aprons that double as change purses for cocktail waitresses?
Author's Response:
Hm, I never really considered that... I kinda pictured her uniform like a school uniform, ya know? Button up white shirt, short black pleated skirt... I thought that they had a single front pocket slit across the top of a false pleat; off-set on the right hand side, maybe not... but apparently Mallory's had a pocket! Ha!
[Report This]Date: March 30 2014 10:14 PM Title: Chapter 16
I thought it was great, the jumping back to these relaxing events. We understand what Diane was doing and we get to enjoy this action as we read about what happens to Mark and Tony.
I would love to see Diane sneak in and kidnap Bob back. Perhaps the wiatress will bring Bobby back to the resturant and Diane is waiting and she knocks the waitress out and finds Bobby.
Ah. i know. Diane will rent Bobby and then keep him. Or some random hot woman rents Bobby, but then Diane pays the hot woman a lot of money to give Bob to Diane and to not speak of this.
Diane finds the shrinking formula and shrinks Bobby's captors. Then she retrieves Bobby.
Diane drives to Chloe's house and finds Jen and Chloe with tinies. Diane demands to know how they shrunk, and Chloe gives Diane the shrinking stuff. Diane uses it to rescue Bobby.
MaybeDiane goes back into the resturant and notices the waitress with something fragile, so Diane drops her plate and as the wiatress cleans it up, Diane looks down at the waitreess, see Bobby, amd takes him.
Perhaps, something random can happen, like Jennifer is driving home and crashes into the waitress. Jennifer sees a tiny human and thinks it is Mark/Tony. She distracts the waitress and steals the human but realizes that it is Bobby. Jennifer goes to Diane and Carly's house and Diane is first at the door. Diane sees the news and takes Bobby promising to give it to Carly. But she lies, amd Diane keeps Bob for herself.
Anyway, nice work!
Author's Response:
Thanks Tom! Wow, ya got a lotta great suggestions there! Ha! You did hit on one of my ideas, (having Diane 'Rent' Bobby so that she could get him out of there) but, I haven't definitely decided yet on that...