Date: January 30 2014 11:38 PM Title: Chapter 1
hey i enjoyed the story good job for a first story but if your ever going to make up wrestling fanfic again could u maybe consider the camera shrinkig down with them so the person your using can dos tuff to the lens to or just make them do stuff to camera lenses in general i know all this sounds weird but it would be cool if you did nice work though keep it up
Author's Response: I get where your coming from. I will try to add that some time. And Thanks!
Date: January 30 2014 6:23 PM Title: Chapter 1
Not too Bad! A short one shot like that is a nice way to start... I would suggest more white space, ya know? S P R E A D- It- OOOO-Out, makes for a lot easier read.
Brooke Tessmacher is definitely gorgeous! - and to be swallowed up by her, so casually like that, would actually be the very best way to go!
Large blocks of text is too hard to suffer through for most readers... Other than that, pretty good writing! Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you! I will write more when I can find the time. Thanks for the asdvise as well! Much appreciated.