Date: January 31 2014 4:18 PM Title: Chapter 1
Oops, I meant Bob. Rob was from a different story I read recently. My mistake.
[Report This]Date: January 31 2014 4:12 PM Title: Chapter 1
It seems like Diane is probably gonna end up as bad as her daughters...Bobby would be better off trying to find a fellow man to help him out. So far it looks like any female he ends up with is gonna take advantage of him!
Great update, nice insight into what Diane thinks and what Bobby's potential future holds in her care!
Author's Response:
Thanks, Gadgetmawombo!
Yeah, like I told Riczar, I tried not to make her the aggressor in this scene, it just kind of, 'inadvertantly happened' while she was forced to hide her little 'pocket-sized-buddy' away, in the only place available at the time, (she didn't want her daughter Trisha to find him) so, that's where he ended up! Could have been alot worse!
[Report This]Date: January 31 2014 3:58 PM Title: Chapter 1
I like when you get into the ladies' heads. It gives us some insight into what the characters are really thinking and feeling. After reading you latest chapter I would almost put Diane in the same category as her daughters. I was fooled in the first half into believing that she actually cares for Bob like a human being. But the second half shatters that, when she starts thinking of him as a toy and shoves him in her panties. I would like to see Diane withhold Bob from her daughters until they're consumed with worry before she reveils him, shames them, and negotiates some regular son and mother-in-law time. Alternately you could corrupt her as much as all the other women and have her shrink her husband. Still, I like this chapter and I look forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thanks Riczar, I was begining to think that I'd lost you! I tried to portray Diane as a middle-aged mother, whom had innocently discovered her tiny son-in-law and really had no intention of being cruel or abusive toward him. Although, after she is forced to hide him away inside her panties, she gets a little carried-away--
-As most women would, eventually! But, she didn't really abuse her tiny captive, she was just trying to keep him hidden from her youngest daughter, which she thinks, doesn't know anything about him...yet!
Yeah, Dianes going to keep Bobby for as long as she can! She's so fasinated with him, and her curiousity is driving her wild! Thanks for the suggestions, I'll consider the shrinking of Diane's husband... sounds like it could work nicely into this... ;)
[Report This]Date: January 29 2014 5:30 PM Title: Chapter 1
You've really built up Diane to Goddess status, I hope she doesn't turn devious and mean...
Author's Response:
Thanks Cat! You caught-on to exactly what I was trying to accomplish!
-- Don't worry 'bout that, Diane, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body!
[Report This]Date: January 27 2014 2:58 PM Title: Chapter 1
Thanks man, great story! Want more scenes with Sandra and Jim.
Author's Response:
In the next one, chapter 18, we'll go back and see whats happening with poor little Jimmy, since he's become Sandra's little toy...
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 9:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
It's plain to see that there isn't any happy future for Bob with Carly. Unless she snaps out of it and realizes all that's she's done and is willing to make amends. I don't see him being happy with any of the women in his life. Maybe its time to introduce someone else? If I recall correctly he's a writer. Maybe a visit from a female editor wondering why he's missed deadlines and never answers his phone? Here's to hoping things will look up for poor Bob!
Author's Response:
Well, this is a story that I've had in mind for a long time. As in real life, nothing ever goes as planed and with Bob, he's going on an adventure that he'll never forget! Just a tip though,... things are definitely going to turn around sooooon....
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 7:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think I'm in lust wit' Carly! ;`)
Author's Response:
Me Too! Thanks Cat!
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 6:11 PM Title: Chapter 1
Really nice update! Bob running away really spices things up, and hes completely right!...Any more of that and he'll end up buried in a matchbox in the backyard! Carly and her friends are insane! I kind of feel like sandra was treating him better, although looking at her now makes me shiver...I kind of feel bad for poor bobby, he seems like a decent guy and doesnt deseve to be humiliated and hurt by the one he loves.
Author's Response:
Thanks Gadgetmawombo, Carly's not 'insane', her and her sister are just experiencing this for the first time too! Having complete control over a real-live miniature person is something that nobody has ever experienced. So, their just Sooo excited, that they got a little bit carried away...
Bob's realizing too, that everything he dreamed of 'in his fantasy's', and his story's, would be nothing like the true reality of the situation... he's perminantly stuck at six inches tall, Forever!
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 1
I love this series and hope that it sees a proper ending! Having said that, I don't know how you can give this story a satisfying conclusion...Right now, bobby is stuck in a no-progression situation, and the bobby is starting to feel like a camera rather than a character.
Make him fight back a little, give him some more thoughts...The story is starting to suffer from what a lot of writters on this site succumb to which is: turning their main characters into cameras and putting them in set piece after set piece.
I loved the fact that Bobby got angry in this chapter and wanted to be in his dollhouse, a bit more of that would be nice! I hope you don't get bored and give up on this, despite my criticisms, I really do enjoy this story!
Author's Response:
Thanks Gadgetmawombo! I never really concidered that... but, your exactly right! We tend to set up the enviroment, place the characters inside it, then just revolve the 'camera' all around discribing the enormous 'view'! I'll have to slow down a bit and allow for alot more character interaction in the coming chapters...
Thanks for pointing that out... I didn't concider it criticism, I needed some fresh perspective toward the overall story itself anyway. I'm glad you took the time to point that out.
Thank you so much for following the story! please keep up the comments.
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 3:51 PM Title: Chapter 1
I'm enjoying this story, please don't end it abruptly! Take some time off and come back to it when the muse strikes you. What I want to see is for Bob and Carly finally have that serious talk that she seems to be avoiding. I honestly think that they could make it work if she started actually listening and taking him seriously.
An idea for a plot twist occured to me reading this chapter. And might be a good way if you feel you must wrap this story up sooner rather then later. It appears that his metabolism has changed if the alcohol is any indication. The serum that shrank him is still somewhat experimental. His life span has probably been greatly reduced. Jennifer probably couldn't know that since Bob is the first human shrunk and not killed right away.
Of course I still hope for the good outcome. Will read more as you release it.
Author's Response:
Thanks Riczar! That's what I really needed, SOME INPUT! Much appreciated... I'm not thinking of ending it, abruptly.. just feeling like it was kind of losing steam with the reviews. The possiblitys that you've presented could be quite true. The life span of most living creatures, that are so small like he has suddenly been reduced to, inevitably could come to light, his tiny heart would beat a whole lot faster, and his metabolism would be conciderably faster too.
I've already finished roughing out the next two chapters, but I have to polish them up a bit first before posting. You've definitely given me some fuel here! I might have to change it up slightly...
Thanks for the imput, that's what keeps me wound up !
[Report This]Date: January 03 2014 4:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
You sir have created a great series. I can definitely see a bondship between Carly and Sandra growing in the future.
Author's Response:
Thanks! Yeah, I finally got to the point, where the, 'FFm' tag' - comes into the picture...
[Report This]Date: December 31 2013 8:37 AM Title: Chapter 1
The chemicals only work on people with a psychological predisposition to being shrunken? Interesting!