Date: November 14 2013 7:44 PM Title: Epilogue
I don't know. I think that it's a form of a control/bondage type thing. The giantess, by her SIZE, instantly has ALL the control, and she can just reach out and grab her little man inside her hand- and BAM! You got- BONDAGE.
Plus, the large sized body of the giantess, from any angle would be the best view possible!
I'd like to see Bob get away from Trish and let Diane save him. Maybe she would return him to her daughter Carly and punish Trish for being a bad girl? yeah-right! Ha! ;`)'''
Date: November 14 2013 7:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
Woo-Hoo! Trishy's fishy smelling undies right in front of him, and she crosses her leg's! What a bitch! Bob's in a heap of Trish NOW! Damn, can't wait for the second part to come around, please get it up soon, Ya got me hooked...;`)
Date: November 14 2013 12:25 PM Title: Epilogue
Well, unless he has some of that inexplicable invulnerability that butt-crushed shrunken men are usually--and miraculously--endowed with, I really don't see him coming back from this alleged cliff-hanger.
More's the pity. :-(
Date: November 13 2013 10:32 PM Title: Chapter 11
I really like Trish, shes not going to hurt anybody. She's just screwing with his tiny head...;`)'''' I'm lovin this! on the edge of my seat waiting for the last chapter, very curious to see how you bring this to an end.
Lookin forward to part two of this story too! Great work!
Date: November 13 2013 11:39 AM Title: Chapter 10
You have a great story going, but I fear you are about to make several fatal story mistakes:
1. Get some time management skills to use your time wisely. Set a reminder to continue your story on something like your computer, IPAD, or Smart Phone, etc. So many stories here wind up unfinished and abandoned and there good stories, but the author either forgets about them or they just don't have the time. But those who don't have time do have time, they’re just not managing it well enough.
2. Never limit the number of chapters you are going to make, creativity cannot be limited even if it is only part one.
3. Stay consistent in your writing. In other words do not interrupt the flow of a story with a lot of jumping from area to the next or in your case, from one time period to another. Its ok once in a long while but don't do it constantly.
4. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT! KEEP YOUR CHARACTERS CONSISTANT. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ON A WHIM OR JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS THE SITUATION, like you did with Trish. In the story, you've been foreshadowing her as a mean girl, but suddenly out of nowhere without any explanation she goes from mean spoiled brat to caring shy girl. That's just disappointing and makes it so people don't want to read anymore.
I've seen it happen many time and the story always bombs. You have the makings of a great story, but you are teetering on the edge of great and bomb. I hope you take my advice and I hope see even more of you writing in the future.
Date: November 12 2013 5:52 PM Title: Chapter 10
Still doing great! I just needed to point out that Trish is Bob's sister-in-law, not niece. I noticed that mentioned a number of times in this chapter.
Hey, thanks for pointing that out Riczar! I went back and fixed that, must have been thinking of another story thats been swirling around in my head...
Thanks for reviewing! I don't think that I would have even noticed that, it just seemed to come out that way, Trish just seemed to 'feel' like a niece, ya know?
Date: November 12 2013 10:55 AM Title: Chapter 9
Well, my Holmesian deduction was half-right. Still, I don't think I'm wrong when I further deduce that Trish is going to cross paths with Bob at some point. Can you say; "sorority mascot-cum-love slave?"
Speaking of Trish---I think you meant "conceited." "Conceded" means to voluntarily admit one was wrong about something previously believed as absolutely correct.
Date: November 12 2013 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 8
I'm not normally into non-micro unaware, as I find it unrealistic (even for this subgenre) for a shrunken man over inch tall to NOT ultimately get noticed! But, this is proving to be one of the more pleasant exceptions to the usual rule.
Date: November 12 2013 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 7
Ah! I get it now. The reduction serum left him just disoriented enough, post-shrinkage, that his brief glimpses of Jennifer's face were too blurry to make out. Allowing her to smuggle the dollhouse back to her parents' place without Bob's knowledge...or that of her parents. That's assuming, of course, that they're not in on it with Jen and Carly.
Either way; very clever! :-)
Date: November 12 2013 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 5
"...he won't have anything to connect you to it."
I don't get that. If they could pass for identical twins, even if it's Jennifer who injects him (while posing as Carly), he'll still think it was his wife. Won't he?
Date: November 11 2013 10:42 AM Title: Chapter 1
This story had a very promising start. I'm concerned about the treatment he's going to receive by his wife and his sister-in-law. Will he be a toy or will they still treat him humanly and with love? I've already detected some darkness in their personalities, despite claiming that they care for him. I wonder if it was their intent for him to get loose. I just figured that they'd want to keep a close watch over him, since so many life threatening things could happend to him at his new size. I'll keep an eye on this story to see how things develop.
Date: November 09 2013 8:50 AM Title: Chapter 4
I am enjoting your story very much so far. Your writing style is very good and as others have stated you are quite descriptive in the scenes you present, something which is a personal favorite of mine. The little things like that do tend to make the story more interesting and enjoyable in the end.
Chapter 4 seemed a bit rushed to me, however. The story flows nicely, and your characters seem real and believable, which is always a plus. Your grammer is very good and every scene seems well thought out with a definite direction, adding to the drama and suspense of what will happen next. There did seem to be a few more spelling errors than usual though. Nothing major or too distracting, but still something to be aware of.
I know we all want to write and post as quickly as possible, or at least I feel that way, AND we are all writing and posting here for our own enjoyment of the Giant/Giantess fetish as well as the enjoyment of others. Still, taking a pause after a chapter is done and giving it another read through often finds those simple mistakes that we all make from time to time. Just a suggestion in way of critique. It is your story after all.
I did enjoy Carly's flashback and the reference to 'Alice in Wonderland', though I'm curious as to which version of the movie you had in mind as they are all a bit different and the book they were based on even more so. Still, Alice is often forgotten as a spark to the Giantess/shrinking fetish. I, myself often reference comic books and 'I Dream of Jeanie' as being that personal spark, so it's nice to see something different in that regard.
I am left wondering at the end of Chapter 4 though. Is Bob simply having a dream or did Carly somehow find the means to shrink him? If the latter and assuming Bob is trapped in her doll house, why did she add the extra precaution of hand-cuffing him to the bed? For that matter, where did she find four sets of tiny hand-cuffs, unless she shrunk those down along with Bob? And the keys must be microscopic. How will she manipulate those and free her tiny husband? Not that I am complaining as my bondage fetish is at least as strong as my Giantess and Feet fetishes, but little things like that nag at my curiosity. I know, 'Get a life, carnaj, it's just a story'.
In all though, I think you are doing a great job and I look forward to each new installment. Keep up the good work!
Date: November 08 2013 4:34 PM Title: Chapter 3
Wow! This is amazing, I can easily visualize these scenes playing out, your discription's are so greatly detailed. Great writing style!
Bob sounds like a guy that wants to be shrunk, hopefully he'll get his wish? ;`)