Date: November 14 2013 7:44 PM Title: Epilogue
I don't know. I think that it's a form of a control/bondage type thing. The giantess, by her SIZE, instantly has ALL the control, and she can just reach out and grab her little man inside her hand- and BAM! You got- BONDAGE.
Plus, the large sized body of the giantess, from any angle would be the best view possible!
I'd like to see Bob get away from Trish and let Diane save him. Maybe she would return him to her daughter Carly and punish Trish for being a bad girl? yeah-right! Ha! ;`)'''
Date: November 14 2013 7:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
Woo-Hoo! Trishy's fishy smelling undies right in front of him, and she crosses her leg's! What a bitch! Bob's in a heap of Trish NOW! Damn, can't wait for the second part to come around, please get it up soon, Ya got me hooked...;`)
Date: November 14 2013 12:25 PM Title: Epilogue
Well, unless he has some of that inexplicable invulnerability that butt-crushed shrunken men are usually--and miraculously--endowed with, I really don't see him coming back from this alleged cliff-hanger.
More's the pity. :-(
Date: November 13 2013 10:32 PM Title: Chapter 11
I really like Trish, shes not going to hurt anybody. She's just screwing with his tiny head...;`)'''' I'm lovin this! on the edge of my seat waiting for the last chapter, very curious to see how you bring this to an end.
Lookin forward to part two of this story too! Great work!
Date: November 13 2013 11:39 AM Title: Chapter 10
You have a great story going, but I fear you are about to make several fatal story mistakes:
1. Get some time management skills to use your time wisely. Set a reminder to continue your story on something like your computer, IPAD, or Smart Phone, etc. So many stories here wind up unfinished and abandoned and there good stories, but the author either forgets about them or they just don't have the time. But those who don't have time do have time, they’re just not managing it well enough.
2. Never limit the number of chapters you are going to make, creativity cannot be limited even if it is only part one.
3. Stay consistent in your writing. In other words do not interrupt the flow of a story with a lot of jumping from area to the next or in your case, from one time period to another. Its ok once in a long while but don't do it constantly.
4. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT! KEEP YOUR CHARACTERS CONSISTANT. DO NOT CHANGE YOUR CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ON A WHIM OR JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS THE SITUATION, like you did with Trish. In the story, you've been foreshadowing her as a mean girl, but suddenly out of nowhere without any explanation she goes from mean spoiled brat to caring shy girl. That's just disappointing and makes it so people don't want to read anymore.
I've seen it happen many time and the story always bombs. You have the makings of a great story, but you are teetering on the edge of great and bomb. I hope you take my advice and I hope see even more of you writing in the future.
Date: November 12 2013 5:52 PM Title: Chapter 10
Still doing great! I just needed to point out that Trish is Bob's sister-in-law, not niece. I noticed that mentioned a number of times in this chapter.
Hey, thanks for pointing that out Riczar! I went back and fixed that, must have been thinking of another story thats been swirling around in my head...
Thanks for reviewing! I don't think that I would have even noticed that, it just seemed to come out that way, Trish just seemed to 'feel' like a niece, ya know?
Date: November 12 2013 10:55 AM Title: Chapter 9
Well, my Holmesian deduction was half-right. Still, I don't think I'm wrong when I further deduce that Trish is going to cross paths with Bob at some point. Can you say; "sorority mascot-cum-love slave?"
Speaking of Trish---I think you meant "conceited." "Conceded" means to voluntarily admit one was wrong about something previously believed as absolutely correct.
Date: November 12 2013 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 8
I'm not normally into non-micro unaware, as I find it unrealistic (even for this subgenre) for a shrunken man over inch tall to NOT ultimately get noticed! But, this is proving to be one of the more pleasant exceptions to the usual rule.
Date: November 12 2013 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 7
Ah! I get it now. The reduction serum left him just disoriented enough, post-shrinkage, that his brief glimpses of Jennifer's face were too blurry to make out. Allowing her to smuggle the dollhouse back to her parents' place without Bob's knowledge...or that of her parents. That's assuming, of course, that they're not in on it with Jen and Carly.
Either way; very clever! :-)
Date: November 12 2013 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 5
"...he won't have anything to connect you to it."
I don't get that. If they could pass for identical twins, even if it's Jennifer who injects him (while posing as Carly), he'll still think it was his wife. Won't he?