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Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 14 2014 4:31 PM Title: Chapter 9

You should have entitled this chapter:

"Shaun of the Ped."


*Ba-DUM-Boom!*

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 08 2013 7:29 PM Title: Chapter 9

It's been a great story so far, with an interesting concept. I want to know what Zarelda does in the outside world, and I'll be very happy when you resume this story.

Reviewer: FleetingMoment Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: November 13 2013 11:15 PM Title: Chapter 9

In her past and after she pushed through difficult odds. Her progress was pretty much a one sided battle. Not exactly sure how Shaun can over come this kind of problem if he's robbed of his free will. But it's still to early for anything serious to happen yet. And your villain functions as well . . . a villain. Partially un-likeable front personallity (please note I am basing this from an oppresseds perspective). A past that can show some kind of redeeming quality and has a good level if intellect.

Personally I am not a big fan of one sided battles so I am hoping there will be an adversary that creates more of a challenge for her. I've always found the best opposion to be a counter to ones perspectives of life.

Looking forward to reading the rest.

 



Author's Response: Shaun is the stories main protagonist, but it is obvious he's going to need help. The cavalry is on its way.

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 13 2013 7:19 PM Title: Chapter 9

Zarelda is quite the quick learner, I'm proud of her.



Author's Response: Indeed she is, but that's not very good for Shaun.

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