Date: January 28 2018 3:18 PM Title: Attention
So pleased this one is coming back (I hope!). I can't wait to see Jack and Penny evolve and how Caitlin re-enters the narrative. I do hope the PTSD arc begins it's upward swing shortly, Jack being a terrified rabbit is certainly understandable and realistic but he needs to evolve into something else.
Author's Response:
If you've managed to read up to the end of Ch.34 - I'd say there's been a bit of an upward swing. Many bumps in the road to come, though.
[Report This]Date: January 28 2018 9:44 AM Title: Attention
This so good!
Penny has been so nice from the beginning, but she keeps finding ways to be sweeter and sweeter.
What’s amazing is the way this moment of the those who support Jack coming together feels so realistic and human. We are hooked by the care and affection we see Penny giving jack. There is a palatable goodness that comes off her and sometimes it seems like a two edge sword. It feels like Jack feels unworthy of her sometimes.
The awkwardness between the two of them provides a tension that really enriches the storytelling. It’s so romantic and it really brings their gentle, subtle intimacies into focus, making their interactions meaningful and sweet.
Delon being there is a story element I really welcome. He’s proving to be a courageous and interesting character, but he also (being someone who is in a relationship) has the potential to offer Jack some advice on when he’s with Penny. Maybe help him stop seeing every bump in the road as a wall. “Hey Jack, girls are complicated.”
The creature’s implied appearance was a brilliant piece of writing. Really, you describe her shoes and all the horror she carries with her is suddenly there in the scene. A great payoff to intese character creation delivered with simple, realistic language.
And, no, Alex hasn’t earned a break from me yet. So she gave someone their property back. So? Those are his glasses. I still remember the pen. She owes Jack a his-size pen. Stupid biggies...I’m watching you.
Great to see you hard at it again Imagin8. It was totally worth the wait. (Hey! That kinda’ rhymes!)
Peace
pix
Author's Response:
Thank you for yet another glorious review, Pix.
Alex did something nice, you know. She didn't have to do it either, assuming she's not up to anything untoward herself. You're such a tough cookie to please.
Date: January 27 2018 8:16 PM Title: Attention
Loved it! Penny doting on him is cute too, hes a ball of fear and nervousness right now.
[Report This]Date: January 27 2018 6:10 PM Title: Attention
I, for one, think that ice-breaking embrace is way overdue. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! For both finally depicting it...and finally updating in general. :-)
Author's Response:
Never underestimate the power of a good hug.
Date: January 27 2018 6:08 PM Title: Attention
Once upon a time there was a story that pretty much everyone loved. Even to this day it's mentioned as a benchmark in the comments of other stories. This is the standard other stories try to meet.
It had deep compelling characters, insightful writing, and a general mastery of the tropes of the genre!
Then it disappeared. Only updating once in a blue moon.
Now it's back and it's still just as good.
GH-X2......Don't be gone so long next time. But don't listen to me. I'm just some hapless chump. Trying and failing down at the bottom of this site that is the home for people large and small.
Anyways. I just have to say you have a talent for writing emotions. You spent three paragraphs describing two people walking by eath other! I don't think I could do that.
Rating this storyis pointless. Just I don't know. Thank you I guess?
Author's Response:
Thank you back. I'm totes emosh, I could write three paras about a spoon sitting on a window. Probably.
But, in all honesty, thank you. I do my best. I've no idea why people regard this story so highly, but I'll take it, and keep writing as best I can, when I can.