Reviewer: Darien Fawkes Signed [Report This]
Date: June 03 2015 10:54 PM Title: Dissipation

Well you've done the job and you've done it well. I do agree with what you said earlier, Caitlin's disirability juxtaposed with her cruel nature make for an interesting source of conflict all on their own. But with that one scene of her breaking down and showing physical emotion, you've significantly increased her depth as a character.

This comes complete with two benefits to Caitlin as a character.

1) Now we have a little mystery in her. If Caitlin is capable of being emotional and feeling grief, is it possible she wasn't always cruel? What was she like before? What turned her this way? Does it justify what she's done?

2) Now we have a little mystery for her future. Will she repent? Will she redeem herself? Will she continue to be an antagonist? Will she humiliate Jack further? Will she go too far? Will she befriend him? Will she hurt him? Will she eventually turn everyone in the school against her through her own cruelty?

At this point, I don't even care which direction you take it now. Caitlin could do any number of those things and, if handled well, any one of those outcomes would make a great story. More likely, though, Caitlin will remain the antagonist as it appears that Penny may already be the female protagonist of the story. Not to mention, no other potential antagonists have shown themselves, outside of Caitlin's friends. I'm actually thinking I like Caitlin better as the bad girl. She's just so damn sexy and dominating. I don't think anyone else that's been shown in the story so far could do a better job of replacing her as the "villian"

But none of that matters. What matters is that there is a mystery to look forward to in this story, and that's going to keep everyone coming back for more. 

Reviewer: TomSpeedy Signed [Report This]
Date: June 01 2015 12:09 PM Title: Dissipation

Im with Antagoniser here.

This is the best chapter yet in this story!

Jack pulled the 'hidden in plain sight' card and he is doing a great job with it. (but for how long, i have no idea.)

Caitlin's reaction was great and it was realistic. I could sense her rage as she was already frustrated with whatever she was doing prior to arriving at home, and now she was steaming with fumes from her head and now Jack can feel it too as she cools down by unintentially hugging him.

It sounded like she destroyed her room just trying to find Jack. Now imagine Caitlin finding Jack. Man, I cant wait when that happens.

I really wonder. Does Caitlin know that Jack is there inside her teddy? I have a feeling she does and is pretending that she has no idea, forcing Jack to remain still whenever she is present.

Or, this is the best unaware scene that I have seen in a long time.

Since Jack is 'gone' in Caitlin's mind, does she need something else to relieve her? Will she have sex with the teddy? Will she strap that dildo on the teddy and use it like a sex toy, all while Jack is inside it?

I mean, you did mention that the neck region of the teddy was worn down a bit. Could happen.

I believe its Saturday now, so Caitlin might stay at home all day, or possibly stay in her room all day. That could be a problem for Jack.

There are so many possibilities; I just cant wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Caitlin is unaware that Jack is inside the bear, it wouldn't make much sense for her to pretend she didn't know if she did, either - she would have dragged him out instantly.

This is a big bear toy that Caitlin simply likes to cuddle at night, while I won't deny that there is something a bit telling about the fact that she enjoys holding onto something similar in size to a Beta like Jack - it's not because she views, or treats, her teddy as a sexual object.

It will be Saturday in the morning, and if you remember, someone will be coming round...

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2015 11:44 PM Title: Dissipation

Can't say I feel sympathy for Caitlin after she kidnapped, beat, raped, and humiliated a guy half her size and a quarter her weight...Whatever backstory she has, its not justification for what she's done. And apparantly, Jack wasn't even the first normal sized guy she's messed with so who knows what other crap she's pulled.

I think Jack needs to get the eff out and fast! Caitlin is an unstable, brutal woman, who I doubt would hesitate to beat him into submission, maybe even kill him, if she got her paws on him! Or at least that's the impression I get of her. Either way, I'm surprised Jack didn't decide to call the cops when he had the chance, this fiasco was definitely worth getting the law involved!

Great chapter!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2015 10:25 PM Title: Dissipation

If she finds him there, the next morning, you know she's going to beat the stuffing out of both of them! Or, at the very least, bind and gag him within it.