Date: July 02 2013 11:51 AM Title: Chapter 1
Well this s interesting. Vanessa has wised up real quick which is completely understandable in this situation...yet you've managed to show it's more an immediate reaction than a permanent change good job. It's actually a very real reaction towards self preservation. I'm starting to wonder how much Kelsy cares for her sister. Was the death threat legitimate or really just a threat. The way you've written her I know she's perfectly willing to hurt Vanessa a lot if necessary but I think killing her would hurt Kelsy more than she might even realize. For the moment I think she's just sort of lost in her power trip.....um these are all just thoughts and opinions by the way just keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
Good observations, Kelsey does like to see Vanessa squirm obviously but.. probably.. wouldn't take things so far even if push came to squish. ;)
[Report This]Date: June 26 2013 2:24 AM Title: Chapter 1
Been enjoying reading this. The size difference is a good change of pace and the background has been thoroughly set out so we know exactly how all this came about and why the situation between the two has reached the point it has (I may just be biased though, as i hate overly complex mass quantities of background stuff).
Liking the character descriptions too, the difference between the lives of the girls really grinds the humiliation in to Vanessa ;)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I agree that a little background explanation is good but you can definitely take away from the story if there's too much of it.
Date: June 21 2013 6:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
A good start so far. I really hope things eventually work out for these two sisters. A person can only be pushed so far on both sides of this relationship and it would be a shame if this ended in tragedy. You've done a great job making these characters seem real and you've created a very sympathetic character in Vanessa my heart goes out to her and you've even made Kelsy interesting I hope she develops into something more than just a heartless sadist. I'd like to know just how she got like this. It can't all be from Vanessa being a lazy bitch....anyway keep it up :)
Author's Response:
I do have a flashback chapter in the works soon, and yes.. I plan to make their relationship much more.. complex.. than one sadist and one abused girl although I doubt that part will ever be too far from either of their minds. Thank you so much for your review!
[Report This]Date: June 17 2013 6:30 PM Title: Chapter 1
Love where this is going. Can't wait for the next chapter. It seems like it will be a great story.
Date: June 17 2013 2:02 PM Title: Chapter 1
I hope Vanessa learns her place, perhaps by violent means. A whip and a choke chain are good tool for training animals.