Date: May 07 2013 3:15 PM Title: Day 1
Liking this a lot so far. Good stuff. You seem to have a great grasp of the written language, and the story flows smoothly. My one grammatical complaint is that when different people are talking they each deserve their own paragraph... sentence... whatever.
Lori's words and thoughts should be separate from Ethan's or anyone else. Otherwise a GREAT read!!!
Looking forward to more!
Thanks for sharing!
Curt
Author's Response:
I appreciate that. I definitely see where your coming from and will try to make it a point to separate their thoughts and speaking to make it an easier read
Date: May 06 2013 3:01 PM Title: Ethan
The story is off to an interesting start. With it being a shrink story though I'm worried that it'll mostly be about the guy being reduced to a helpless state rather then the woman being capable. It just isn't as enjoyable for me whenever a nasty fall down some steps, an encounter with a burgler or even an encounter with her father would strip the giantess of nearly all her supposed power.
From her response I'm guessing Lori has carried a flame for Ethan for a while. I wonder if her families wealth has influenced how people behave towards her and she's hoping for something less influenced by that in meeting with him again. I'm also wondering if Ethan was sort of given to Lori in hopes of keeping her out of trouble. Perhaps her father realized he can't really control her so it's best to give her something or in this case someone to keep her distracted.
LIke giving an over eager puppy a new chew toy to keep her away from your books and furniture.
Author's Response:
An interesting thought. But I actually want this story to start off in the way it doesn't interest you(Sorry). But as time goes on, Lori finds her inner Goddess and starts to take control of her own life. Very interesting opinion though. I greatly appreciate it and hope you will continue reading.