Reviewer: Maximus Signed [Report This]
Date: February 20 2013 11:32 PM Title: Ch. 14 The Pool Party

Loved how Wendy got him high! Great idea, just another example of how helpless he is and that they can do anything they want to him. The only down side to that for me is he was in too much of a haze and not fully aware what was going on, reminds me of the unaware theme some stories have and I HATE unaware stories, I think it's so much better when both parties know exactly what is going on. Good stuff with Twilla though, one down and several pool hunnies to go! 

 

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: February 17 2013 2:32 PM Title: Ch. 14 The Pool Party

You mention the name Twila (which I think might be spelt Twyla) before actually introducing her as a character. When he first hears her he won't know who it is. It was a good chapter although there seems to be too much reliance on time skips. How about some description to link the various parts together?

Author's Response:

No, It's TWILA, (Affectionatly called= "Tweaker"), and when Tom was inside of the cage,(with the sheet over it, he could hear them outside talking)that's how he knew who it was.  But, your right, there is a time skip, where Tom is in the house, before the lady guests arrive, and Wendy takes the cage out to the patio, but that, is the only time-skip....

Unless, your referring to his 'drug-induced' 'HAZE', but that, kind-of, speaks for itself.....