Date: September 13 2013 3:40 PM Title: Chapter 3: The Rest of my Life
It's good that you explained why the strange liquid was there. I was wondering the same thing. Although I don't think that it's very believable that she would choose to store it at school because a student might find it. Perhaps locked in a safe at home? Anyway, I understand that you wanted to quickly get to the shrinking part so it'll be interesing to see how Bridgette and Charlie's relationship develops as a result given how that is supposed to be the main focus of the story.
Date: September 13 2013 3:33 PM Title: Chapter 2: A Leap of Faith
Although the chapter is a bit short for my liking, I did feel you ended it at an appropriate moment.
Date: September 13 2013 3:29 PM Title: Chapter 1: Expostion
The opening paragraphs are very descriptive and somewhat emotional. I liked it. If you expand upon them then they would make for a nice prologue.
Here:
I replied back to here.
You mean: her
Other than that minor mistake it's a decent chapter.
Date: February 15 2013 5:22 PM Title: Chapter 3: The Rest of my Life
do continue...
[Report This]Date: January 21 2013 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 1: Expostion
This is a great story so far, just keep it going, it looks like its heading in an interesting direction.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2013 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 3: The Rest of my Life
Still enjoyable. I like the past scenario of Ms. Moe, but gosh, why would all the other students let a kid keep trying to stomp out their own teacher?
But a good story nonetheless. I am definitely liking this.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2013 10:27 AM Title: Chapter 2: A Leap of Faith
It's good. I like how you make it fast-paced. This is one of those stories I call 'short, sweet, and to the point.'
[Report This]Date: January 20 2013 9:46 PM Title: Chapter 1: Expostion
Not bad for a first attempt. Me being a gentle giantess author myself, I know this is definitely up my alley. Now onto the review.
You do a good job with the description of the character. Your grammar and spelling is neat and tidy which is surprisingly uncommon with first time writers, so good job. Again, since this is your first story, I won't criticise much.
Actually, I don't think I have a criticism. I like the idea of him being very shy AND very shrunk with his crush. Hope updates are longer and frequent.
Peace.