Reviewer: Jacksmith Signed [Report This]
Date: June 23 2013 1:03 PM Title: Chapter 7

Per request, here I am again.  I like most of what I see.  It ought to be noted that I normally will lean a little more toward stories with heavier action, but I am able to recognize a story done well even if it's not the genre I go for first.  Note that I'm in no way suggesting you add more action all of a sudden, because I don't think it would fit your world too well.  I myself have tried this type of story a couple times and know it can be tough, so kudos.

I have to give you props for your maintenance of a formal speech style in your characters.  Normally, if a writer starts up in a style like that, they will at some point drop the ball and it can be much more jarring than if they hadn't done it at all.  However, you've managed to keep it up.  It won't be for everyone, but I think it fits your story well and gives the world authenticity.  You have a nice variety of vocabulary and sentence structures that keeps anything from feeling stale.  Additionally, you have some nice restraint in your fetish content; it feels much more like a story than some of the more pornographic works around.  Both have their audiences, of course, but for a fantasy story such as this, going for understatement and subtetly like you have will get you more mileage.

I'll admit the alternating (sort of) between Nami's present with the giantess, as well as flashbacks to her development, can feel a little choppy.  I'm not saying don't do it, it just might be good to make clearer distinctions, or have longer segments of one or the other before switching back.

Just my two cents.  Keep it up!