Reviewer: timescribe Signed [Report This]
Date: April 02 2013 5:34 PM Title: Anakins torture continues.

I loved the older woman romance between Anakin and Natalie Portman in Star Wars. Shame in a way that you know he'll end up as Darth Vader.

I've thought about being eaten by a giant Natalie Portman since I saw her in Thor.

Reviewer: LITTLE MIKE Signed [Report This]
Date: January 17 2013 7:38 PM Title: Anakins torture continues.

It was not bad for the 1st 2 chapters

Reviewer: LITTLE MIKE Signed [Report This]
Date: January 17 2013 7:38 PM Title: Anakins torture continues.

It was not bad for the 1st 2 chapters

Reviewer: LITTLE MIKE Signed [Report This]
Date: January 17 2013 7:38 PM Title: Anakins torture continues.

It was not bad for the 1st 2 chapters

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: July 18 2012 1:55 PM Title: Anakins torture continues.

It's an improvement, though you still need to develop the story more. Some more descrption, I feel, is needed. Have you looked at the "Writing Tools" section of giantessworld? That has loads of useful information for aspiring authors such as yourself. I remember when I was first starting... Don't worry, you'll get better.