[Report This]Date: November 06 2011 1:24 AM Title: That Shrinking Feeling
This must be one of the best giantess vore stories I've seen here in a long time.
(I must admit I was kind of hoping he'd make his way into Pam's mouth).
You have a great command of the English language, power of expression and ability to create the best atmosphere in a story like this.
I might have misunderstood one thing. Was the awoken Tim in the last paragraph only moderately shrunken (not tiny like in his dream) to be able to go downstairs for breakfast?
Author's Response:
It wasn't a dream. The second time, he shrunk progressively, not all at once like the first time. He has come to terms with his situation and he treats it as the new normal.
I am glad you liked my story so much. I hope my next one will not disappoint. Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: November 04 2011 5:21 PM Title: That Shrinking Feeling
Hello, Veronica and welcome to Giantessworld! Your story has you off to a good start here! I think you'll find that most writers/readers here are eager to help and share ideas.
Regarding this story, the good points were that it moved very quickly because Tim never spent too much time with one person. It was fast paced and full of action, which I think a lot of readers here enjoy. The bad side to this was that it gave the story a rushed feeling. A very effective way to counter this is to divide the story into smaller chapters and release a new chapter every day or so. You'll probably generate a few loyal followers doing it that way, too!
Bottom line is that you are off to a good start and will no doubt only get better from here. I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
Date: November 04 2011 4:17 PM Title: That Shrinking Feeling
That's good. Looking back I have noted a few errors in my own review. Sorry, it was kind of rushed so I guess I could be accused of being cynical.
Anyway, I forgot to mention that aspiring authors such as yourself should check out the "writing tools" section of giantessworld. It's located next to the search and you will find it really useful, trust me.
Date: November 04 2011 3:48 PM Title: That Shrinking Feeling
Hi Veronica, welcome to giantessworld!
Wow, lots of new authors lately, this is awesome!
So I've been reason your story and spelling and grammar is pretty good although some bits were confusing. Like here:
"but she didn’t, her smile was that of concern." A smile is a happy emotion so I'm not sure smiles can show concern. I think you mean (facial) expression or look. Smile is the wrong word to use here me thinks.
Also, if Diana is Tim’s girlfriend why would she suddenly stop caring about Tim. I honestly thought that was a little odd and if turns out she doesn't like him then perhaps there should have been more of a build up to him being eaten. And it seems rather out of character of her to randomly put him in a sandwhich if she is his friend.
Here: "Tim understood and started to sulk off."
If Tim understood he wouldn't really sulk. He would maybe try to make conversation with Lilly whilst she prepares the food.
The end was really sudden and rather weird, I'm sorry. Not sure how he can instantly assume all these events are because of a trip to the mall two days ago. It almost felt like it was an afterthought thrown in at the end to quickly try and explain everything.
I hope my comments weren’t too harsh but I know you have lots of potential as a writer, and more you write and more stories your read the better you will become. I hope my comments were useful but if not then that's ok too. I wouldn’t want to discourage you from writing.
Author's Response:
No. not at all. if anything it helps. Thanks so much. This was my first story and now I know how to improve. I appreciate it. Thanks