Date: April 13 2018 9:48 AM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
Pandora Bracelet Adidas Sneakers Jimmy Choo Shoes Adidas NMD Nike Shoes Ralph Lauren Pandora Jewelry Puma Shoes Nike Outlet Yeezy boost 350 v2 Adidas NMD R1 Pandora Jewelry Official Site Nike Air Force 1 KD 10 Pandora Ring Air Max Air Max 90 North Face Outlet Pandora Charms KD 10 Shoes Pandora Ralph Lauren Polo Pandora Jewelry Ralph Lauren Outlet Louboutin Shoes Timberlad Boots For Men Louboutin Shoes Lebrons Shoes Kyrie 3 Shoes Vans Outlet Nike KD Shoes Coach Handbags Adidas Outlet Pandora Ring Harden vol 1 Jordan 11 Red Louboutin Shoes Yeezy Beluga 2.0 Pandora Pandora Charm Longchamp Handbags Timberland Boots For Women Yeezys Red Bottom Shoes Valentine Outlet Tory Burch Outlet Online Timberland Boots Moncler Outlet Air Max Moncler UK Louboutin Shoes Kyrie 3 Jordan Retro North Face Jackets For Women Kyrie 4
Date: March 08 2015 7:48 PM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
Ayous is an African wood. How is it a miracle "discovered" power source?
Ayous or Obeche is creamy-white to pale-straw in colour with no clear distinction between sapwood and heartwood, though the wide sapwood is more susceptible to discoloration and insect attack. It is the lightest low-cost utility hardwood in general use, the density being about 0,38 seasoned. The grain is slightly interlocked; the texture open. When cut on the quarter and stained it has some resemblance to African mahogany. Large logs commonly contain brittleheart. The wood has a ribbon-like aspect on quarter-sawn faces, and is lustrous. Fresh wood has an unpleasant smell, which disappears upon drying.
Author's Response:
I actually had no idea that the word Ayous was already taken. When I was thinking up a name I just took the word Ion and played around with it. I also had planned to rewrite it as Eyous instead but I have been having difficultiy with editing at this time and have sent a message about this issue I was having. I honestly thought it just sounded like a really space like name. Thanks for letting me know and when I can I'll make changes to it. Unless of course there is a meaning to the word Eyous as well then I might just throw the word in the garbage and simply use Reaver instead.
Date: March 04 2015 9:54 AM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
I just read the first chapter, and it has interesting characters and plot. Thanks for writing it. I like the futuristic setting, cars that drive themselves, and also the dystopia of large cities after worldwide tragedy.
I like Alice, and the merging of her with Nova is a nice twist. I like the whole electronic theme with the veins being more computer-like. And Red Raven is very mysterious and superhero-like, with a cool attitude. And he uses unique weaponry, very original and cool.
I like how Alice's parents had developed Nova and so are experts with it, while she is just learning about it firsthand, with it now as part of her body. It's also cool that Nova speaks to Alice, informing her, and can even cause her to possibly grow.
Author's Response:
Well I thank you and hope you enjoy the other 22 chapters that are currently up right now. Although it will still take me awhile to finish this I will be completing it and then I will move on to the editing. If there are any questions you have or there was a mistake I have made, please let me know.
Date: February 16 2014 9:22 PM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
So is Spicule a dayon? He has fire powers, but he's not huge, or so far as I can tell. I don't know why, but I'm having trouble keeping up with whats going on. Maybe I need to go back and read from the beginning, since the previous chapters were a while ago.
Author's Response:
Well to answer the qustion. Yes Spicule is a Dayon. But he actually has Nuclear Powers. And yes he is small for a Dayon. 17' 6" feet is big for a human but since Alice right now is the same height and she took on several others who were ranging from 30 - 45 feet tall. By comparason he is actually quite compact. I wanted Spicule to be a calculating combatant so having him turn into a massive building sized slower moving creature contradicts his character. I still wanted him to be a Dragon themed Nuclear Dragon. But ultimatly I chose to have a smaller, and more nimble beast that could still fight with master martial arts level of attacks. But still pose a threat to creatures ten times his own size. If you have any suggestions of specific areas I can try to fix then I look forward to your opinion.
Date: October 08 2013 5:21 PM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
I do like this story, its cool and it kind of reminds me of Attack on Titan for some reason. I think what kind of throws me off though is that you wrote it kind of like a play. Other than that this is good, I like it, and I wish you luck writting it!
Author's Response:
Thank you sir. I originally started it with just basic paragraphs but I heard other readers were having difficulties reading large paragraphs. Plus when I started reading my work after I finished it I myself lost place with the characters dialog. Trying it closer to a play instead allowed me to keep the pacing between character conversations. (And also allowed more to be accomplished with less text)
Was scared the story was going to be compared to something far less impressive. But hearing it even reminds someone of Attack on Titan made my day.
Date: September 27 2013 6:02 AM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
An interesting start to a story. I do like the format for the dialogue. The only thing that was wrong with it was the occasional spelling error. I'm interested to see how you're going to incorporate the giantess aspect.
Author's Response:
Already have started. Got 8 more chapters ahead and working on the next one. Though I probably won't actually say giantess in the series. I fear that people might get the wrong idea if I just say that out and the open.
Date: August 25 2011 8:50 AM Title: Chapter 1: Ravens fly towards Death
I'm sure you have a good story though these paragrpahs are ultra long and really daunting to me. Can't you splot them up into more managable chunks?
Author's Response:
Ohhh. I did have them like that to split up the scenes but sure I think I can split it up more. Thanks for the comment.