Reviewer: Mr_Me Signed [Report This]
Date: April 08 2024 1:12 PM Title: The First Week

Love this so far. The premise and setting are used well. I enjoy your prose. They're detailed and interesting. Good pacing as well, it's no chore to read. And perhaps most important of all, a good ratio of erotica to the mundane. I also dig how the chapters have a kind of cadence.

Some small criticisms. I have a good sense of Brooke and Will, but not so much with the other characters. You may want to develop them a little more in the off-Brooke chapters. Also, I think it could use another editing pass. For example, a whimper escapes Will's lips twice towards the end of chapter 4, which didn't seem intentional.

I'll be eagerly looking forward to your next chapters!