Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: February 21 2024 6:51 AM Title: Battle at Osmund's Farm

It took me a month or so of sporadic reading, but I finally caught up!

This whole story is fantastic, but I really feel like this last chapter is especially well done. Your descriptions of this battle were incredibly easy to picture, and between that and the map you included in the author's notes, it's clear you put a lot of thought into how this all played out, which is very much appreciated. It would have been really easy (and completely understandable) to have just written that the soldiers charged the farm and made the battle into just a vorefest (to be sure, it was, thankfully, still a vorefest, just an intricately thought out one with a deep story behind it), so I wanted to give you credit for putting a lot of effort into things like the military's pre-battle formation, how they came out of those positions, the intricate details of Jen moving through the woods while feasting on the western flank, and so many other minor details that you took the time to include to give this battle a very "live" feel, if that makes sense.

Also, like me, you use a lot of words when you write. But very much unlike me, those words aren't at all wasted. With this chapter, in particular, I felt like every syllable served a purpose. Every description were intricate and conveyed clearly not only what was happening but also how those actions affected the characters' surroundings, every line of dialogue built on things established in previous chapters and walked balanced the drama of the battle with bits of humor quite well, and every action taken by the characters (even the nameless ones) made sense and seemed realistic (or as realistic as attacking two roughly 140-foot-tall women with medieval era weaponry can seem, I suppose).

But yeah, like I said, this whole story has been great so far and has had several moments worthy of praise, but this last one just seemed to come together perfectly. I think maybe the action-oriented nature of the chapter displayed some of your talents that maybe weren't needed as much with the more one-sided nature of the previous chapters or the less action-oriented nature (at least so far) of Divinity Lost. In any case, good job!

As for the story as a whole, I'll echo everyone else in praising the relationship between Jen and Kara. I love the complexity of how this developed, as well as the way that, as two people on opposite extremes (Jen's extremely violent nature toward the Lilliputians and Kara's extreme pacifism) has caused the both of them to slowly "move toward the middle" over time. We went from Kara choosing to stay in Jen's boot over the giantess's eating habits to her getting in Soren's face and defending Jen for eating enemy soldiers in a relatively short amount of time. And while I don't think Jen will ever be able to accept the Lilliputians at large as equals, at least on a conscious level (more on that in a minute), her putting Kara in charge of who she can and can't eat is about as big a step in that direction as I think we can expect from her.

While we're on the subject of Kara being the keeper of Jen's stomach, I absolutely adored the fact that Jen felt that she had to get Kara's permission before eating the western flank. The fact that she took her promise to the mini-scholar that seriously in such a critical situation shows just how much she cares for and respects Kara. And it was the cutest prerequisite to that level of bloodlust that I've ever seen!

Between that and threatening to break Sara's legs (before trying to laugh it off when she realized that she needed to find her filter again around her equal-sized friend), Jen's love for Kara really shined through in that scene. Man, I'd hate to be those soldiers in the farmhouse right about now.

Jen, in general, has been a fun, yet surprisingly deep character. Early on, I thought this was going to be just a really good revenge story with rich perspectives of tinies given from time to time. But the emotional rollercoaster that she's gone through throughout the story has been really moving (and incredibly hot at the same time!). I especially loved the use of the language barrier in the earlier chapters, sometimes with Jen not understanding her victims' begging and others with those victims not understanding her actions (like the people taken from the bar and later let go). It was a unique way to get her emotions across and express both her frustrations and short-lived pleasures.

But like I said a few paragraphs back, I don't think Jen will ever be able to consciously see the Lilliputians as humans, even though it's pretty clear that she does on a subconscious level. Honestly, I think if she accepted that they were just like her, it would break her. The things she has done to them in a rage, especially devouring helpless villagers, would be pure evil if they were the same as her, and she's clearly not that. That's why she concluded that they were just food, even as she's explaining that to Kara, who she obviously didn't see as food even then. The consequence of this, though, is that she's going to keep eating them. If she stopped now, that would be acknowledging that she was wrong before, and I think the guilt of that would crush her.

Thankfully, Kara gives her a nice workaround for this. Jen can now keep deluding herself and not eat or have her fun with good, everyday people at the same time. I don't ever foresee Kara abusing her role in this, although she's still growing into it, and I think this battle going on right now is going to alter her perspective a bit more. And if that doesn't, if/when she finds out that Tarkus had that whole village killed, completely undoing all of the work she put in to show that peace was possible (not to mention murdering a whole town's worth of innocent people), that certainly will.

Tarkus is a great villain, by the way. Yeah, the queen is the main villain, and I love that she's so arrogant and easy to hate, but I'm digging the general, He's smart, measured, and logical. At the same time, he takes following orders to the extreme (that could just be the culture the queen instilled in the military, but he didn't even blink when he ordered that town to be killed. That's cold-blooded). That makes him really dangerous. Where I think most people in this society would overlook Kara no matter what, he actually respects her and acknowledges how capable she is, which is why he recognized her role with the giants so quickly and ordered her death as quickly as possible. He has the queen's ruthlessness but none of the arrogance. That's a lethal combination.

Sara is a really fun gentle character. Yeah, she's super nice and wouldn't hurt a fly (on purpose), but she's also ridiculously horny. I mean, she's had Soren and Felicia so far, and it looks like she's got Jen in her sights, too. Give it some time, and she'll find a way to get Kara inside her at some point too, if she can get her away from Jen long enough. Her role in the battle is particularly fun, though, as her refusing to fight makes things more difficult for our heroes but more interesting for the reader. And those accidental killings brought a log of humor to a really tense scene. I'm just curious if she's going to be able to continue her peaceful ways throughout the rest of the story or if she'll have to get her soles dirty at some point in the future.

I love Felicia. There, I said it. We haven't had a ton of time with her yet, but she's pure gold whenever she shows up. This last chapter especially. The way she turned on Soren as soon as Kara defended Jen's eating habits had me rolling! I also love how quickly she just accepted it. I don't know if it was Kara's passion that swayed her or if it's just that she has a thing from Jen too (she picked the perfect time to make that known), but it was nice to see someone judge Jen for how she's treated them versus what she's doing to the people trying to kill them. I'm eager to see how her role might expand as the story progresses.

Soren's pretty likable, and I'm curious if he'll get Sara all to himself like he wants or if he'll have to share her with his sister (at least). His rapport with his dad and sister has been pretty fun, and he's good with Sara. I don't think he's really had his time to shine yet, though. I think his dad's death will probably hit him the hardest, and it'll be interesting to see how he deals with that.

Lastly, I'm intrigued by where you're going with this Nectar of Subjugation angle. I mean, on the surface it looks like there's a clear arc for that to take, but I've noticed that you're pretty good at subverting expectations at opportune times, so I don't think it's a given that Jen gets subjugated at some point. It could really go either way in my mind, so that's created a bit of intrigue for me.

Again, great story so far!

Reviewer: rghud945 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 18 2024 2:01 PM Title: Battle at Osmund's Farm

Miss the chance to have the soldiers asked “Hey Kara, how's it feel to betray your own race?”

Seriously though, Kara is such a capable character throughout the story who showed many positive traits, she is brave, smart and unyielding. But when speaking of the Queen in last chapter, all her rationality seemed to be gone, and that was even after the scout incident in chapter 11 which nearly got her killed.

The death of Osmund is not unforeseeable due to your hint (Well, unless he still has some tricks under his sleeve, I mean he did miraculously save Sarah earlier), but I didn’t expect Kara to go out herself just like that. I know accident and conflict are necessary for the plot of a story, still can’t help but feel a bit frustrated and facepalmed. Now she need Jen to save her ass and Osmund’s family are gonna be so mad at her.

The Queen, being the main antagonist, as I saw how you describe her obsession with size, at first I thought she would grow big with the help of alchemy and has some giantess catfighting with Jen or something during the final confrontation, LOL. Anyway, since the Nectar is completed and I think it is most likely to work successfully (or else those scenes previously would be rather meaningless), now it is quite a ominous situation for Jen and Sarah but the Queen’s plan is still rather unclear, I do look forward to seeing how the story goes.

BTW, there was a comment asked about Brobdingnagians and you avoided the spoiler, actually that’s my biggest curiosity as well. However, so far the story didn’t mention any hints of a bigger species, and if they really appear the power balance would be absolutely broken. So I think the chance for their appearance is very slim, or perhaps the story still has many unrevealed plots and there would be some surprises?