[Report This]Date: November 14 2023 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 16 - Pandora's box
This was great! Can't never go wrong with growing breasts. Now it would be kind of peotic if Charlotte later got literally crushed by her own mass, if you get me ;)
[Report This]Date: November 10 2023 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 16 - Pandora's box
This was great! Can't never go wrong with growing breasts. Now it would be kind of peotic if Charlotte later got literally crushed by her own mass, if you get me ;)
Author's Response:
I have a feeling you're going to enjoy the next chapter 👀
[Report This]Date: October 31 2023 3:53 AM Title: Chapter 16 - Pandora's box
My god man. Yes. I was really looking forward to Ae Ri at this sorta height and you delivered. The gaslighting too. She gives brain rot to the highest degree so I can't blame Paul.
If I can offer some constructive criticism though. Sometimes your descriptions are a bit indulgent and I think you could streamline your prose. In the erotic moments, description is great, but in some of the less action-packed moments you don't need to tell us everything Paul thinks. I know it's first person but less is more sometimes.
Anyway good shit dude, this is one of the few high-quality stories on this site, I'd love to offer feedback for future chapters if you're interested. You can email me at fosmat999@gmail.com or I'm on twitter/X too, up to you!
Author's Response:
Lmao! Indulgent descriptions are my vice, haha. I usually do two or three drafts of each chapter and they just get longer each draft. I should probably stop that, haha.
Thank you for the kind words and the great feedback! I'll for sure drop you an email some time :) I've loved a bunch of your stories (and I'm eager to read more of them (you've got quite the catalogue))!