[Report This]Date: July 21 2022 12:56 AM Title: Chapter 14. Soul-mates Forever.
This is probably the best chapter you've written here. You've always had good descriptive language to give us just enough detail to where we can envision what's happening, but now, the sentences flow nicely into one another. In previous entries, I had to reread some paragraphs because of a couple of awkwardly worded phrases (I have this problem as well). Now, it's smooth as butter, very easy to follow, but still maintaining that methodical approach to detailing what's happening.
Of course, the action depicted in the beginning is rather special. Salutations to Blyke; a worthy death, doing his duty down in the trenches. You paced out that scene really well, showing us how his body's contorting, before the final sendoff.
I do have a passing interest in Violena's friends, and how she interacts with them, and how they would react to Blyke. It's mentioned in the text that Aisha might be a tough sell. Overall, this was a very enjoyable tale, and one that saw a marked improvement by you, chapter by chapter. I look forward to whatever comes next, whether it be here, or your other entry.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! It was fun to write for the most part, and I covered a lot of what I’ve wanted to write about. However, just in case I like leaving some space for a sequel or another entry into the same universe. Hence the focus on Aisha near the end.
I’m happy to hear that my writing has been improving, I hope it continues to do so as I keep writing and experimenting. Of course some will be hit or miss.
If nothing else, I hope I was able to conclude the story of these two characters well. They were the focus after all, with minimal other characters even being present at all. I’ve found ending chapters to be hard or just draining to write about. Of course I imagine that’ll come with practice.
As for future plans, I’ll probably take a small break from writing for a month or two. Or I guess that’s a bit misinforming, maybe more accurately would be I won’t have time to post stuff for a while. But after that, I would like to focus on my other story for a bit, and take a break on this universe so I can freshen my mind on it. If I ever decide to return to this universe that is.
Once again, I’m thankful for the continued reviews around my work. Your feedback and anyones really (provided I can see it being justified lol) has been a huge help in allowing me to realise what can work or what doesn’t. As well as making me see the limits of my current ability. Thanks for that!