Reviewer: Edgedej4 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 23 2023 5:41 PM Title: Chapter 4: Journey

Loved this chapter. And from earlier the writing has definitely improved a bit. I think it would be good for immersion though if you threw in some smaller paragraphs time to time. But that’s just a personal preference I have.

perhaps A little more on what Jessica is thinking too, her own thoughts on the matter of being so grand and powerful would be nice to read. That’s already somewhat there, and I know this is a old chapter, but I definitely think it would help out the already quality writing.