[Report This]Date: April 30 2022 10:08 AM Title: Chapter 13: New Home
I’m enjoying the story so far. While I’m not too much a fan of Harem or Steamy, certainly not Incest, the premise alone has drawn me in, Hook, line, sinker, similar to the original manga. The execution has been on point, beginning to end.
Keep at it, I would hate to see this story get the same treatment like the Manga.
One thing I would note is to refrain from repetition. Especially when talking about the characters looks and such. By now, we know that they could give Aphrodite a run for her money. It also pops up in a couple other areas, though I can’t immediately recall where. Just a thought/critique.
Beyond that, I would like to see more world-building of this now more matriarchal society, plus some fight scenes where Kazuya finally has the truly “Super Human” part of the the Super Soldier of a Pandora reinforced.
Two last thoughts before I go.
With E-Pandora being an apparent success, what’s the current Pandora viability? Originally, it was about 50% of women can become Pandoras, but the E-Pandora should be able to drive up that number.
Second, Kazuya feels a bit…, young let’s say, being at 15 with this kind of attention. 18+ with everyone aged further to match would fit better, in my opinion. Or maybe it’s Gengoi up to his antics again.
Good Day.
Author's Response:
Wow. This is a lot to take in. Here goes....
I'm glad this story has gotten your attention. I know I tend to get repetitive at times with appearance of female beauties. It's an Achilles heel of mine, in a way. I'll try to refrain from it with the current characters, thought I plan on bringing more characters into this project over time.
As for action scenes, I'll try to have something cooked up once Kazuya becomes acclimated to life on campus. I've got something in the works on that end.
I didn't give too much thought on elaborating further about the matriarchal society as far as percentage of women who are Pandora on a global scale. I'll see if I can come up with something to address that in further chapters.
While Kazuya is a bit young, given that Pandoras generally pair up with Limiters who are junior to them in age, I figured that this wasn't too much of a stretch. Plus, I perceive Kazuya as having significant mental maturity for his age, so a gap of a few years doesn't come off as too odd in my opinion.
Hope this addresses some things. Again, I'm glad you're intrigued by this story. Thanks for reading.