Date: March 09 2021 3:04 AM Title: Needles
The moment I've been waiting for hehe ;)
At the start of the chapter, Amy and Brian continue to be so cute as Amy and Xue persuade him to accpet the situation. I love that Amy is confident enough to use her charms to help that little process for Brian hehe.
Of course, I also love Xue's attempt to take yet another tiny as her own toy! I swear, I kinda wish she would just claim seniority and take all of them to live at her feet! XD
I like the snapshot of more of Stephanie and Roger's sexy fun time right before Sophie makes her move...
Sophie's little plan worked out about as well as I'd hoped... not at all!
I love how Sophie doesn't even get one second to scare anyone with her little needles, as Stephanie just instantly starts laughing at the tiny little brat! Then Roger just instantly takes her out!
Then Xue... oh Xue... <3
I just adore that woman so much!
I just adore the casual and playful way that she is able to strike total and utter fear and humiliation into her little pet Sophie's heart as she snatches her up with her toes like it's nothing! Speaking of Sophie being Xue's pet, I just find it so hot how Xue talks of training Sophie and keeping her forever.
This chapter was everything I hoped it would be!
[Report This]Date: February 28 2021 8:20 PM Title: Needles
A story that deserves a review, but mine will probably be less enthusiastic than the ones dominating the review board.
Frankly speaking, it is an easy read, entertaining at times, but deeply flawed. There are three major issues I see:
1. The narrative - we (as readers) are continuously being told about characters' virtues, while said virtues are seldom (if at all) shown. It bugged me slightly at the beginning, but became more of an issue as new chapters were being released. I hoped the problem would subside, but it never did. It is most evident in Stephanie (and Amy, to slightly lesser extent): the person we actually meet is oversensitive, bitchy, short-sighted and foolish. Nowhere near the idealised persona she is described to be. In Amy's case, her supposed smarts are never showcased and her attitude of 'everything will be ok, trust Stephanie' displays the lack of imagination we do not associate with smart people.
2. The characters - this one may be especially subjective, but they are mostly an unlikeable bunch. Chad and Sophie are simple jerks depicted as villains of the story. Both Roger and Brian are slaves to their own fantasies; spineless, weak-willed individuals whose (supposed) smarts are never evident. Julie used to be my favourite, but her actions spoke aginst her. While Sophie is meant to be a villain, the true villains I see are Stephanie and Xue: as opposed to simply being a product of poor upbringing, their disregard for human life and consequences of their actions is truly troubling.
The redeeming factor comes (unexpectedly) in form of Veronica and Maria. Their spontaneous relashionship feels true and unforced - as it should.
3. The sheer number of cliches in one story.
I hope you do not take my criticism as something done out of spite; I just have to address the problems I see. I rate few stories, but some deserve to be reviewed - and I belive you have room for improvement.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your perspective and insights.
It's clear you put a lot of thought into your analysis.
Interesting take on my story.
I probably should have taken more opportunities to really showcase the virtues of some of my characters.
I got so excited writing about the tiny/giantess playtime that maybe I could have done more to show off certain traits of characters: particularly Amy's smarts - but I consider her true virtues to be of kindness, patience, and loyalty - I think I've demonstrated those traits of Amy consistently in the story.
With that said, maybe I should have created a situation where Amy calls out Stephanie for going too far - but I was into the whole "torture the jerks" mantra that honestly I didn't want anyone to interfere except the occasional protest from Brian.
But maybe giving Amy blind loyalty of Stephanie was a mistake?
The thing I gather though is that you view Sophie and Chad with more sympathy than I do.
Given Sophie's entitled personality and racism - she only cares about herself and no one else, I still would say that Sophie is more villanous than Stephanie or Xue.
Yes, Stephanie is immature and she lets her emotions get the best of her - but her heart is in the right place when it comes to her friends. Her methods are a little extreme - yes.
Xue is more callous and perhaps too playful but she never does anything that would likely cause a tiny to die - to be tortured, yes..but not death. Same with Stephanie.
The only two main characters who really went through the ringer are Sophie and Chad - but our views on these two characters appear to be different.
Brian's brilliance has largely been showcased from the fact that he invented the shrinking machine. He's not the most skilled when it comes to people though. He's also really into Amy.
And while I don't think I explicitly stated it, Roger figured out how to use the shrinking machine without any instruction.
I have considered rewriting the chapter where Julie used Chad as a dildo.. wanted to create a certain situation for Chad but perhaps making Julie be the one to do it wasn't the best idea.
Stephanie or Xue might have been a better fit for that. I'm just not sure how I would make that fit.
Glad to hear that you like Veronica and Maria's relationship though! I had the most fun writing about their relationship in particular and I think you explain why that was the case for me.