[Report This]Date: October 29 2012 7:29 PM Title: And It Begins
Nice! Motive is weak, but that's not always important.
Interesting how all the other students seem to be aware of her capabilities. Certainly a good start.
[Report This]Date: September 28 2012 8:17 PM Title: And It Begins
Anything to do with being in a sexy ass crack gets my vote every time!
Date: September 27 2012 10:17 PM Title: And It Begins
I couldn't have said it better than the previous reviewer. It's a decent idea, but your work might benefit from a tad more development on the characters to let them feel like living, breathing people with legitimate depth so that it's more convincing when you launch into the giantess content. Keep it up.
Date: September 27 2012 6:40 PM Title: And It Begins
I thought it was a good start. A very short start, but good none the less. The only problems I had with it was that you didn't give enough explanation. Why does Danielle have this purple gun and is it really THAT easy to piss her off and make someone her shrunken slave for the rest of his life? Also, why is it the teacher doesn't seem to recognize the object in Danielle's hand as a shrunken student, while everyone else does and idly watches as Danielle drops the boy in her butt? Story isn't just action, it's details, details, details. It's reasoning and emotion. The giantess action is just the large payoff! Be more descriptive, and I think you'll be fine.