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No shirt no shoes you shrink, A PSOCrafter’s Tale

By Littletoy, based on a collage by Asukafan2001

It was a hot summer day in July in rural Circleville, Ohio. I had been fired from my job cutting grass for Loparo’s Landscaping and still hadn’t found another job. To be honest, I really wasn’t looking. I started Ohio State in the fall and was enjoying my last summer or freedom. Mom and Dad were away in Europe for a two-month vacation and my little sister who was in eleventh grade was busy with her friends most of the time. With nothing better to do I walked to the end of the block to get a Slushee from the local Quickie Mart. Quickie Mart was empty except for this old women buying lottery tickets from Apu, the store owner. I knew Apu wasn’t gonna like the fact I had no shirt on but damn it was hot. I strolled over to the Slushee machine and grabbed a cup. I saw they were all out of frozen Coke, my favorite flavor so I filled up the cup with cherry instead.

“Sir you must leave, you do not have shirt. See the sign says No Shoe No Shirt No Slushee.” bellowed Apu from the front of the store. I put the plastic lid on top and went up to pay.

“Sorry man, I left it at home.” I dug out two bucks from my jeans pocket and threw it down on the counter. Apu didn’t look too impressed. Instead of reaching for the money he reached out and grabbed the Slushee away from me.

“I told you before, No shirt, no Slushee. As punishment you pay anyway!”

“You DICK!”

“Do not temper with me young man. I will not let this be happening.”

“Fuck off you dot-headed cow worshipper!”

“GET OUT OF MY STORE! GET OUT GET OUT!”

I started out the front door but not before flipping Apu off one last time. Apu raised his arms out straight and started saying something in a strange language which he repeated over and over.

“UUNGALA-BUNGALA VASHTI SUPRANA CAMEL DAR!”

He then threw a slip of paper at me. I caught it with one hand and shoved it in my pocket without a thought. I figured it was my dollar bills back but it didn’t feel like money. I would check later I thought.

“Yeah same to you “I said backing out the front door.

“OOFF!”

“WATCH IT DORK!”

“I CAN”T BELIEVE YOU DARRIN! YOU ARE SUUUUCH A KLUTZ!”

It was my sister Beth; I had slammed into her and her friends as they were piling through the front door. Beth in turn had fallen into her three best girlfriends’ right behind her. Beth, Kristin, Jenna and Brandi were all 16 and among the most popular girls in school. I wasn’t in my sister’s social strata and she knew it.

“Sorry Beth” I said as I backed out into the parking lot. Beth looked at me with contempt as she noticed my eyes lock on to her best friend Kristen’s breasts.

“Eyes front perv, I’m having a party tomorrow night and don’t try to stop me and you better not tell mom and dad either.”

“You’re cleaning up.”

I heard the girls giggle something as I made my way out the door and across the parking lot. I felt dizzy and lightheaded suddenly, so I decided to make my way to the little park across the street. I hadn’t gotten more than a few steps when suddenly the concrete rose up to meet me. I landed on the ground with a crash as I blacked out. I don’t know how long I was out. I awoke because the ground I was lying on started rumbling like the scene in “Jurassic Park” where the T-Rex makes his first appearance. At first it was a thud, then another deep thud and another and another. As I got to my feet I half expected to hear a blood-curdling roar but it sounded instead like a whiny girl’s voice only greatly magnified to ear-splitting proportions.

“That guy in there smells funny.”

“I don’t think they shower like we do Beth.”

‘I think he was all pissed at your loser brother.”

I looked out across a vast concrete plain. Rising up in front of me were eight trees that seemed to sway in the breeze. One of the trees lifted its trunk and rubbed against another tree. The tree seemed to be strangely colored, almost fleshy. I screamed as the trunk slammed down just in front of me, and with horror I saw the giant shoe and realized it wasn’t a tree at all.

It was my sister Beth…

“Beth! Beth! Down here!”

“Did you hear something Kristin?”

“I heard something too; it sounded kind of tiny and squeaky.”

“Where’s it coming from?”

I yelled again at the top of my lungs. I looked up, up at the massive figure of Beth as she knelt down. Her cutoff shirt and shorts were the size of circus tents as she searched the ground for the source of the squeaking. All the girls had large soda cups with extra long straws sticking out that must have easily been twice my height I waved my hands over my head trying to get attention but it was Brandi who pointed at me.

“Beth LOOK!”

“What is that?”

“KILL IT KILL IT!”
”Kristen stop you’re scaring it!”

I cringed visibly as Kristin stomped her foot down only inches in front of me.

“NOOOOOO!”

I half expected my life to end right then and there, but a something soft coiled around me. I panicked as the ground fell away and I was lifted high in the air. As I rose higher I could see their titanic bodies before me, staring at me in shock and surprise. I came face to face with the hugeness that was my sister and her friends. Beth gripped me firmly in her hand while she examined her find.
            ”Beth you’ve got to help me please something’s happened!”

“He said your name Beth; I can hear his funny little squeaking voice.”

“Darrin, is that you?”

“Oh my god its Beth’s brother! Look at him!”

“What happened to you?”

“Please get me to a hospital, help me.”

“Oh don’t worry ‘little’ brother I will help you. Kristin give you your cup.”

“NO NOT IN THE SODA!”

“Oh hush you big baby.’

“Let’s take him across the street to the park.”

I saw Beth laugh at me as I pleaded not to go in the cup. Kristin held out her cup and popped the lid off, and Beth moved me over the top and let go. I dreaded being covered in sticky syrupy soda but was relieved when I had the liquid and realized it was only water. Kristin smiled down at me, telling me how cute I looked before snapping the plastic lid back on while the girls talked and walked over to the park. I had to tread water and finally grabbed on to the straw to keep from drowning. Several times I felt the cold water go through the straw I was clinging to as Kristin took massive sips from her water. The water level would drop as she sucked then slightly rise again as she released the straw from her lips. How humiliating. My pants and shoes were soaked and I was shivering as they made their way over to some garden tables and chairs. They sat down in a circle. Kristin popped the lid off her cup. I tried to ward off her thumb and forefinger but she pinched my midsection and lifted me up. I was held by Kristin in the middle of the group of girls. I saw Brandi smile at me but I was quickly grabbed by Beth as I hung in midair, the water dropping off of me.

“Aww you got him all soaked Kristin.”

“At least you didn’t get him all sticky since you didn’t get soda.”

“I couldn’t I’m on a diet.”

“Again. You could hide behind a wire coat hanger as it is.”

“Hey! At least I’m not a heifer like Sarah MacDonald”

“Ugh!” The girls all broke into a wave of disgust at the mention of the name.

“Well well, my dorky brother, cut down to size at last I see. Looks like I’m about to become an only child.”

“Don’t hurt him Beth. He was so cute. He was clinging to my straw.”

“Yeah look at the little thing he’s shivering.”

“Yeah poor little doll, lets dry him off girls.”

I screamed bloody murder as Beth held me out in front of her. I saw the girls all pull their straws out from their cups and aim them at me while putting the other end in their mouths. Their eyes were locked on me as I struggled in my sister’s hand. Then the blast from the straws hit me, washing my face and body with their breath. They aimed the straws up and down me for the next several minutes while all the while I struggled helplessly in Beth’s hand. I tried in vain to bat them away but they seemed to come at me from every direction and angle in their relentless pursuit of drying me off.  I felt myself becoming drier by the second until finally they stopped. Brandi snatched me up and held me upside down before her face.

“There all dry little man. You’re so light.”

“Lemme go lemme go!”

Beth then snatched me back up and held me up to her face.

“Well little brother, I don’t know how this happened but it looks like you will have to get used to things being different from now on. And it looks like I won’t have to share the house with you until Mom and Dad get back and after that even.”

“W-what are you going to do to me? Beth I’m your brother don’t kill me please!”

“Kill you? Don’t be silly you’re far too valuable this way. I got a better idea. Girls pick a number between one and ten.”

“Seven.” Said Kristin.

“Two” Said Brandi.

“Three” Said Jenna

“Beth you can’t be serious!”

“Shush doll man, the girls are discussing things.”

‘AND THE WINNER OF MY BROTHER IS…..THREE JENNA YOU WIN!”

“YAY!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”
           Beth casually flipped me up in the general direction of Jenna. The blond girl with the ponytail deftly plucked me from the air and dangled me in front of her face. Her hand smelled like strawberries and was soft and supple.

“Jenna can you keep him for a while? You can play with him but remember he is my brother and he belongs to me until I say otherwise.”

“Cool. Come on little Darrin lets get you home.”

“No wait Mffffppt”
           I was thrust against this blonde’s shirt between her breasts as she quickly got up and started walking. Her breasts shook against me slightly as she walked at a brisk pace to her house. I listened for the sounds of the other girls, especially my sister. How cold she do this to me? I know we weren’t exactly close but I never expected her to just hand me off to Jenna like some meaningless possession of hers.

 Jenna dashed inside her house and made a beeline for her room but was stopped in the middle of the hall. I was buried so I couldn’t see but I could hear another feminine voice.

“Hi Jenna what’cha got there?”

“Go away brat I have homework to do!”

“HOMEWORK? It’s July!”

“Summer reading now beat it.”

I heard the sound of a door slam as I was lifted away from Jenna’s chest and set down on her bed. I looked around at her gigantic room, then at the floor far below.

“Now don’t get any ideas about trying to escape little Darrin doll. You wouldn’t want my sister Samantha to find you now would you? Be a good boy and hang out on my bed while I clean up my room, ‘k?”

I pleaded to Jenna to release me or help me get to a hospital but she pretended not to even notice me as she moved about her room picking up clothes and magazines and generally tidying up. When she was done she sauntered over to the bed and just fell forwards. I screamed in terror as her massive body slammed down on my but her hands came up at the last minute to brace against the bed, creating a small space between the mattress and her breasts or I would have been crushed instantly.

“Scared you ha ha ha.” Jenna teased as she gently lowered herself down on my. I beat against her with my fists for only a second before the massive weight of her body forced my arms against my sides and pinned me to the bed. Her warmth was everywhere, as was the mango-guava scent from the Bath and Body Works she used to shower with. She then flipped on her back, suspending me above her breasts as she did so.

“I can’t believe its you Darrin. Don’t be mad with Beth, I won’t let her hurt you ok? Besides you’re so cute like this.”

“Dammit Jenna I am not some toy to be looked after put me down.”

“Of course you’re not a toy. You’re my little Darrin doll to be looked after for as long as Beth says.”

Jenna then set me down on her chest. I rose and fell with her breathing as her b-cups jutted to either side of me. I cringed at how a high school girl’s chest could easily hold me and move me up and down with it without so much as noticing one iota my weight displacement. I started crawling down her chest across her stomach, which caused Jenna to start giggling, which started her stomach bouncing up and down, which caused me to fall flat face down.

“Careful. Trying to escape me?”

“No I -“

We were interrupted as the door abruptly burst open and a tall girl seemingly a year or so younger than Jenna burst in. I already knew her to be Jenna’s little sister Mallory, who was a sophomore this fall. She had roughly the same build as Jenna but had dark brown hair in a ponytail. She had on cutoff jeans and a T-shirt.

“Get out of here you Brat! You’re supposed to knock!”

“I know you’re hiding something Jenna and I-what is THAT?”

I closed my eyes as I knew what was next. I felt myself gripped in a tight fist of steel as Jenna’s stomach fell away. In a flash I was upside down hanging in front of Mallory’s astonished face. She twisted me in her grip while I fought and struggled and screamed to be put down over and over again but that just seemed to strengthen her resolve to overpower me.

“Oh god Jenna it looks like a tiny man, and he looks just like Beth Dremmel’s older brother!”

“He is Beth Dremmel’s older brother. Darrin do you remember my sister Mallory?”

“How did he get like this? How did you get him?”

“Beth asked me to look after him for a while. Isn’t he the cutest little thing?”

“Hi there little Darrin you are so cure, yes you are, yes you are. Do you want to come to Mallory’s room for a while?”

“Jenna please tell her to put me down dammit I’m not you girls pet dammit.”

“Oooo such language Darrin. For that you can go with Mallory until suppertime.”

“Heeeeelp noooooo Mallory put me doooooown let me go! Beth I will get you for this BETH…BETHHHHHH!”

As Mallory stared at me while carrying me down the hall to her room I reflected that my life as I knew it was over. I was nothing more than a trinket at the whim of my sister and her popular friends, to be passed back and forth against my will, never to see my house or bedroom again. I would not be going to Ohio State in the fall; no I would be staying right here in Circleville in the possession of some spoiled high school hotties. All because I had to have that damn Slushee and I forgot my shirt.  I remembered the paper in my pants pocked Apu had given to me. I somehow managed in Mallory’s hands to reach it and pull it out. Despite being rocked back and forth in Mallory’s grip my eyes managed to focus on the paper. When I read it, the hair stood on the back of my neck:

It read:

“UUNGALA-BUNGALA VASHTI SUPRANA CAMEL DAR!”

And below it, the following translation:

*No shirt no shoes you shrink!

THE END