Mike Wallace's Supernatural Bar & Grill 2: Mike's Tale
By The Wordmaster



Sigh. Another day, another set of heavenly messages delivered. Spreading my feathery wings, I launched myself away from the dull drudgery of Earth and headed home. Well, not directly. Today I favored a more circuitous route, one that took me right up to the well worn, inviting front door of Mike Wallace's Supernatural Bar & Grill. Hey, even an angel needs refreshment every once in a while, and that ambrosia they're serving up where I come from... well, it just doesn't pack the same punch as a good old glass of booze. Whistling a merry tune, I stepped on up to the bar. Grinning from ear to ear, I shot my best Sean Connery at the teenager behind the counter.

"I'll have a martini. Shaken, not stirred."

The barkeep's acne riddled face winced. "Look, Gabe. Just between you and me, the whole James Bond thing... it ain't workin'."

Gabe. I always get a laugh out of that. Short for Gabriel of course, head messenger angel for You Know Who. It's times like this I'm glad I'm an archangel. If I had any superiors and they saw me hanging out at an establishment like this...

"I hear you loud and clear, Mike. Loud and clear. How about that drink, though?"

"Can do. Just lemme get a couple..." his voice trailed off as he peered over my shoulder. "Hey! Hey! What the hell do you think you're doin'?" he shouted.

Glancing back, I spied a most interesting sight. A mummy sat in a booth, several scarab beetles on the table in front of him. They leapt and whirled, attracting the attention of nearby patrons. Rising up on their hind legs, they formed an impromptu chorus line, kicking for the enjoyment of the small crowd that had gathered. I let out a chuckle, but was cut short when Mike shoved past me.

"You!" He roared, pointing an accusing finger at the mummy. "Get out! And take your little circus friends with you! Mike Wallace's is a strictly No Pets environment!" The room fell silent at Mike's unexpected outburst. Shaking, the mummy gathered his beetles and got the hell out. Grumbling under his breath, Mike stalked back to the bar and poured himself a drink.

"Geez, Mike, I've never seen you get so mad! What was that all about?"

Mike heaved a sigh. "Sorry, Gabe. It all goes back a few decades..."

I braced myself for a flashback sequence.

***

"Do they do any other tricks, Demonica?" asked a curious onlooker.

"Oh, of course," came the breathy voice of the demoness. "I taught them well."

My curiosity piqued, I craned my neck to see what was in the cage that everyone found so interesting. Scurrying about were about a dozen tiny, naked people. "What the hell are those?" I asked.

"These?" Responded Demonica with a little smirk. She leaned down nearer to the quailing little people. "These are very naughty souls. It's a new punishment we're trying out. Also helps solve our problem of finding enough space for the damned." Reaching her delicate, long nailed hand into the wire cage, she fished out a little nude woman. "Watch," she said. Pinching a peanut from the bowl on the table between finger and thumb, she brought it to her lush, deep red painted lips. Opening her hand, she held it palm up, the little woman shakily rising to her feet. Spying the peanut, she sprinted across Demonica's hand, up her arm, and onto her shoulder. Reaching up, she grabbed the peanut and pulled it from Demonica's mouth. The sultry demoness laughed as the woman nibbled the nut like a squirrel. "They're very trainable."

"Well, just be careful with 'em."

"C'mon, Mike. What's the worst that could happen?"

She held the bar's attention for the rest of the night (not just with the little people. Demonica had, if you'll pardon the pun, one hell of a body). As she left, all eyes watched her beatiful, G-string clad ass. Nobody noticed the tiny, three inch man and woman she left behind.

***

"Umm... no offense, Mike, but is this story going anywhere?" I interrupted.

"What?"

"Well, there's not a whole lot of action."

"Hey, in reality there was a ton of action. Demonica is by no means a tame girl. I just thought... y'know... an angel wouldn't be interested in hearing about wanton acts of carnality."

"Oh... um... right. Can't have that," I said, more than a bit disappointed. Lousy angel image. I never get any smut.

"Anyways, it was nearly twenty years later before the problem started. I was looking for olives..."

***

"Where the hell are those damn olives?" I muttered. "I put 'em right here!"

"Hey, Mike, can I get a refill on these peanuts?" came a holler.

"Yeah, sure. Gimme a second." I scanned the shelves, pulling down empty can after empty can. Finally finding a full jar, I poured a new bowl. I turned to put the jar away, and when I turned back the peanuts were gone. "What the hell?" I breathed. I gazed at the empty bowl, scratching my head. Experimentally, I poured another bowlful. The peanuts stayed put. Again, I turned to put away the jar, and when I turned back.... "What the hell?" Gone again! Once more, I repeated the exercise. I turned my back, and... "Ah-HA!" I spun back around. Tiny forms scattered everywhere, clutching armfuls of peanuts. "Hey! Hey! Get back here!" I groped and snatched, but they were just to quick. Little people! Running loose in my bar! Eating all my food without paying!

At first I thought nothing of it. A few traps, maybe some bug spray. No big deal. A month later, I thought quite a bit more of it. The little people proved to be quite ingenious, snatching the bait without springing the mousetraps, dodging rolled newspapers and flyswatters, and generally making a mess of everything. Three weeks and three exterminators later, I was at wit's end.

"What am I gonna do, Sam?" I pleaded, sweeping my arm across the bar, sending little people everywhere. "These little buggers are everywhere! They breed like rabbits!"

"Well, I'd like to help you out, but the Wish Granter's Society has suspended my license. Again."

"I told you that Boothe chick incident would come back and bite you in the ass."

"Yeah, yeah. I got slapped with a 'reckless display of supernatural activity' charge. Apparently the locals aren't allowed to see anything out of the ordinary. They took away my license for three centuries." He brushed his shoulders, flicking off the tiny people clinging there.

"Coulda been worse."

"Yeah, I know." He tossed back his beer. "Well, good luck. I'll see ya later." Turning to leave, he paused. "Say, why don't you talk to that chick who brought 'em in? Demonica, right?"

"Hey, yeah! Good plan!" I leapt to the phone, shaking a tiny man off the receiver. "Hello... um... Hell? I need to talk to Demonica."

***

"Wow, Mike, I'm really sorry about all this," Demonica huskily apologized. She was dressed (almost) in nothing more than Hell's version of the bikini: fiery red and skin tight. Distracted by her attire (or lack thereof) I was having a tough time following the conversation. I had taken the precaution of closing the bar so nothing would interfere with the extermination. Demonica and I and a few hundred three inch men and women were alone.

"No problem, Demonica. Just get rid of all these pests."

Flipping her coal black hair out of her eyes and curving her blood red lips into a heartmelting smile, the sultry demoness told me to step back. I moved behind the bar and watched with wide eyes as she began her extermination.

"You see," she said, bending over to fish a tape out of her purse. Her round, plump ass rose, waving about as she continued to speak. "Your problem is bait. You need the right kind." To my severe disappointment, she rose again. "Be a dear and pop this in, would you? It's one of Hell's special mixes." She handed me the tape labeled "lust". Slipping it into the slot (no, that's not what I meant, you sicko) I pushed play. The heavy, thumping bass notes shook me to the core. Watching Demonica tap her bare foot and nod her head in time to the beat shook me even more. Later on she explained that Hell's psychological department had spent years developing music that reacted with people's deepest urges, stimulating instant arousal. Man, it worked perfectly. And not just on me. From every corner of the room, tiny little heads popped out, eyes fixed on the beautiful, gyrating demoness.

Running her hands through her hair, licking her lips, she swiveled her hips. Pelvic thrust after pelvic thrust sent flaming jolts of desire through me. Apparently they had the same effect on the little men. Some of the more daring ones edged closer to the whirling sexpot. Her eyes hooded, she peered around her ankles at the two or three tiny males. A smile flitted across her face as she inched closer to their forms. Never missing a beat, she squashed each one beneath her soles. The blood welled up under her feet, leaving disgusting smears behind.

My stomach churned, yet I still couldn't look away. The little men kept coming, and Demonica kept crushing them. Over a dozen grease stains littered the floor around her tapping feet. A few minutes went by with no more men approaching. Sighing, Demonica cocked an eyebrow at me. "Time to up the ante." The next thing I knew, she was topless. Her bikini top hit the floor, along with my jaw. Her beautiful, bountiful breasts jiggled as she continued to dance. Immediately, a group of men rushed forwards. Tiny crunching sounds accompanied their demise. Demonica raised her hands to her chest and cupped her tits in her hands. Rubbing and pinching her nipples, she let out moans of pleasure. So did I. At this display of lust, half the remaining men rushed forwards, clambering around her ankles, trying to climb her legs to reach her beautiful breasts.

Grinning, Demonica bent, dangling her delectable chest inches above the tiny men. Leaping, they brushed their hands over her nipples, sending shivers of delight up and down her spine. She scooped a few men into her hand and rose to her full height again. Dropping them onto her tits, they began to lick and kiss her flesh. The remaining floorbound men were reduced to paste.

Reluctantly, I tore my gaze away from the moaning seductress and counted the number of men remaining. Only about twenty left. A tearing sound brought my attention back to the center of the room. Demonica had ripped her panties from her waist. A beautiful, horny demoness was now standing naked in my bar. At times like that, it doesn't take long to count your blessings. Each and every miniature man ran onto the floor, leaping over the flattened corpses of their companions in their mad dash towards Demonica.

She sat down and spread her legs wide. The men on her breasts were still stroking her nipples into a rock hard state, and her pussy lips were wet with excitement. The tiny men pushed and shoved to be first to reach the glistening cunt. At their touch, Demonica shrieked with pleasure. Her hands roughly assaulted her tits, crushing the men there. Their blood served to lubricate her bosom as she stimulated her nipples. The feel of a dozen tiny hands inside of her drove her mad. Reaching down, she shoved as many little men into herself as she could. Slamming her legs together, she smashed the tiny men on the floor. The men inside her squirmed wildly as they were assaulted by her crushing muscles. Gasping and grunting, she orgasmed again and again. After the men suffocated, she lay back in the afterglow of her orgasm.

Finally rising, she ejected the broken corpses from her cunt. Strolling lazily towards me, she purred: "Got a towel, big boy?" Trembling, I handed her one. She washed the blood from her body and stepped back into her clothing. "Well, I think that took care of 'em all."

"But... but what about the rest of 'em?" I stammered, still somewhat in shock from her incredible show.

She laughed. "Without any men, the ladies'll have a tough time reproducing. I'll see you around, Mike." With that, she leaned over for a quick kiss and left.

Gazing at the bloodstains and remains on the floor, I sank wearily onto a stool. "Wow..." I breathed.

***

"So ya see, Gabe, I can't let any pets in at all. They get loose and I get another infestation on my hands. Gabe? Gabe?"

I snapped to attention. "Huh? What? Oh, yeah, geez. Great story, Mike."

"Great story? Weren't you offended by it? All that sex and violence?"

"Oh, uh, yeah! Terrible! Horrible! Appalling! I gotta go." I leapt to my feet and beat a hasty path to the door. I had business to attend to. Rushing to the pay phone in the parking lot, I shielded the keypad with my wings as I dialed. Looking about nervously, I waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello, and thank you for calling Hell. This is Suzy, how may I help you?"

"Umm... hi. Umm... I'd like to speak with Demonica, please."

Hey, even an angel has needs!



The End